Would it be gay if...?/Jilix

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It was Thursday night...technically Friday morning considering that it was 2 am and he was awake staring at his ceiling while thinking about what he was going to do about the Paul situation

He wasn't going to cheat on Jisung. But he also didn't want to tell Jisung about what was happening because he didn't want to lose his mom being in his life again

He tried to think of different scenarios and all of them ended pretty badly to him

one was to cheat which was automatically not an option, that was the worst option out of all of them. It would hurt him worse, and he didn't even want to think about what that would do to Jisung

The second one was to tell Jisung that his mom changed but the problem with that was that Paul had already seen his bruises and would tell Jisung. He also didn't want to risk Jisung wanting proof and wanting to meet his mom because that would also end in a way that Felix did not want to imagine

The third and final logical option he came up with was to tell Jisung the truth. Which in his mind resulted in losing his mom forever and possibly losing Jisung too. Or things could somehow go back to how they were before his birthday and Jisung would forgive him but he was scared that it wouldn't happen that way

He really didn't want to hurt Jisung but at this point, it was too late to completely avoid doing that. He broke too many promises, it would be impossible for Jisung to be completely okay

His thoughts kept him awake all night and he was awake to hear his alarm go off the next morning

'What if I just don't go to school? Would Paul tell him anyway?' Felix wondered to himself as he covered his face with concealer

Not wanting to take the risk Felix finished getting ready and slowly started walking to school

As soon as he stepped foot onto the campus Paul was there and pulled him over to the side of one of the buildings away from all of the people

"Have you made up your mind?" Paul asked as he leaned close to Felix

"Im sick, I don't think you want to catch whatever I have by kissing me" Felix said, hoping that his dumb excuse would work although he highly doubted it. He wasn't expecting Paul to try and talk to him until after school was over though and he was not prepared. Not that more time would have changed his decision anyways

"I'm not stupid. I also know not to trust you as much as your precious boyfriend does" Paul said and Felix sighed

"I'm not gonna cheat on him" Felix said as he made eye contact for a second before looking away again

"Of course you aren't" Paul said under his breath "Tell him by Monday or I will" He said before he quickly walked away

'Why is he giving me an option?' Felix wondered to himself as he watched Paul walk away leaving him extremely confused 'I can't tell Jisung though, I'm scared of telling him'

~time skip to after school~

Jisung and Felix walked to Jisung's house after school and were now sitting in Jisung's bed together watching a random movie

"Changbin and Chan seem really worried about you" Jisung said out of nowhere

"I already told you Sungie, I'm fine" Felix replied

"I know but they keep telling me that your not. I want to believe you because I trust that you won't break our promise but they are starting to make me a bit worried too" Jisung admitted

Felix tensed at the mention of the promise that he has broken too many times to count of at this point

'should I get it over with? He's going to hate me so much. I'm gonna lose him and my mom. Chan and Changbin are going to be mad too. Jisung's going to break up with me' Felix thought to himself but Jisung's voice pulled him back out of thought

"Sorry, I shouldn't ask when you already told me that you are okay. You would tell me if you weren't " Jisung said which made Felix feel even more guilty

"Sungie" Felix said softly "Would you be mad if I were to break the promise we made?" He asked, trying not to cry as Jisung made eye contact with him

"I wouldn't be mad. I would feel bad because you really wanted to prove to Chan and Changbin that you wouldn't break it. Depending on what exactly you did I could be disappointed but I would never be mad" Jisung explained

"What if it was really bad?"

"How bad?" Like cheating?" Jisung asked and Felix shook his head no

"No not cheating but somthing bad enough to hurt both of us"

"Why are you asking me these questions?" Jisung asked with a pout

"I- im just wondering"

"As I said, I wouldn't be mad. If it were something that would hurt both of us then I would make sure you are okay and once you are then I would be too" Jisung said as he gave Felix a quick kiss

"What if it were bad enough to make you hate me?"

"Not possible" Jisung reassured

"What if I wanted to do something that you don't approve of?"

"As long as you aren't hurting yourself by doing it then I don't think I would disapprove of you wanting to do something"

"What if it was hurting me?" Felix asked

"I don't like your questions. They are sad, I don't want to think about you hurting yourself" Jisung responded

"Sorry I'll stop now" Felix said as he went back to watching the movie quietly

Remember when this story was like 80% crack? Idk what the heck happened but I definitely wasn't expecting it to turn into this 😬