Would it be gay if...?/Jilix

❤️95❤️

"Okay we need ramen and cereal" Jisung said as he was sitting next to Felix on his bed. They were trying to make a list of everything that they needed for their new apartment

Them being the people they are procrastinated until the night before they were supposed to move to actually start thinking about what they needed

"We also need furniture?" Felix reminded Jisung in a questioning tone

"Oh yeah... I didn't think about that part"

"We aren't going to last the first week living by ourselves" Felix sighed

"Don't say that" Jisung pouted "we'll be finnneee"

"One of us should probably learn how to cook without almost burning down the kitchen"

"Yeah. Imagine if we raised a child on just ramen and cereal" Jisung said sarcastically as Felix started chocking on air "Oh my gosh whats wrong?" he asked as he patted Felix's back to get him to stop

"You brought up children randomly and it freaked me out. You do realize that we are mentally still children and we basically still are childr-"

"That's not what I meant! I mean I might have thought about us adopting a child but I wasn't thinking soon. The fact that we are actually moving into an apartment together has been making me...think more about the future I guess"Jisung explained, regretting bringing up the topic as he was feeling embarrassed

"That's cute" Felix said quietly as he smiled "What other things have you thought about for our future?" he asked, not realizing how sidetracked they were getting

"No, it's weird"

"I don't care. Just tell me one more thing. Please?" Felix asked

"I've thought about us getting engaged" Jisung laughed slightly at himself for telling Felix about his dumb thought "It was mainly because I was annoyed about Paul" he admitted but he left out the part that he was thinking bout it regardless of Paul

"I thought our promise rings were our engagement rings?" Felix said jokingly as he grabbed Jisung's hand and played with the ring that he gave him months ago

"They aren't actually though" Jisung said with a small smile "Anyways, those are things we should think about later. We should focus on the apartment for now" he said as he picked up the notepad and pen

They continued listing off things that they knew they would need and went ahead and ordered some of the things online

Jisung was purely happy and excited about the situation. Felix, on the other hand, was still feeling happy but he was also nervous about it

Unlike Jisung who was only thinking about the good things that could happen. Felix couldn't help but drift off to thinking about the things that could go wrong

He and Jisung had never really had a bad argument but he couldn't help but wonder what would happen if they did, or what would happen if Jisung got annoyed of living with him after a week, or even what would happen if worse came to worse and they broke up again

He wanted to have the same positive thoughts that Jisung was having but considering everything that happened with his mom he couldn't. His mom used to love him but then she stopped loving him and he was scared that the same thing would happen with Jisung

He also wanted to tell Jisung about his thoughts but he didn't want to ruin his happy thoughts with his own paranoid ones

But luckily Jisung knew better this time. He knew something was wrong the moment he started noticing that Felix seemed to be losing himself in thought a lot

"Lix what's wrong?" Jisung asked finally after he caught Felix staring at nothing for the 6th time in the past twenty minutes

"Huh?" Felix said as he looked over at Jisung

"What's wrong? You're thinking about something" Jisung commented and Felix just stayed quiet  "I'm not going to get mad"

"What if something bad happens?" Felix asked. He didn't want to but he thought about it and if he ever wanted to earn Jisung's trust back he needed to be honest

"Between us?"

"Mhm"

"A lot of bad things already have happened, we are fine now aren't we?" Jisung asked and Felix nodded

"But what if something happened and we weren't fine anymore?"

"We weren't fine when we broke up but we fixed it" Jisung reminded him

"But what if-"

Jisung cut him off with a quick kiss then smiled at him "If anything bad happens in the future we will fix it"

"How are you only thinking about the good things that can happen? I'm excited but I'm also scared that this could somehow ruin things"

"I've thought about some bad things too but I stopped myself from doing that because after I thought of a few scenarios I realized that they all ended the same way and the happy scenarios were much more fun to think about"

"How did the bad ones end?" Felix asked

"How are your bad senarios in your head ending?"

"...I didn't think about how they ended completely. Just up to the point that it happened"

"In my head they all ended in us forgiving each other" Jisung said to him

"Only because that's how you would want it to end" Felix replied

"Then end your scenarios the way that you would want them to end. If both of us want to fix things then it will work out the way that we want it too" Jisung explained

Felix was not completely convinced that things would work out exactly how he wanted it too just from him thinking and hoping that it would but he had to admit that following Jisung's advice did help him feel better about it

"Do you want proof that it works?" Jisung asked and Felix looked at him confused but nodded

"When you broke up with me I was sad and at first I was scared that we wouldn't get back together but once I started to convince myself that you still had feelings for me It became a little bit easier and we eventually ended up back together right?"

"How do you know that it will always work out that way though?"

"I don't, but I hope that it will"

"I'll try to do the same" Felix said and Jisung smiled at him

"Good"

—idk-what-this-chapter-is—