An unusual feeling sparks through me as I walk closer to my house. Two cars I've never seen before, along with mom and dad's stand in front of the house. It's the oddest thing I've never seen. They're never home before 10:30 or 11:00. At most it can be 9:30, I went to the library to spend time after leaving, I couldn't come back.
The keys fumble as I open the door. Voices I've never heard off greet me as I walk. The usual scene of Lexi alone in the house doing something isn't what I see, instead Mom laughing to something the lady standing beside her standing greets me. Dad's back is visible, he's talking to someone. I don't know who they are but I'm not bothered. I try to quietly go to my room when I hear Lexi shout "Alyssa" Ugh.shit.
I turn around. She's standing with a tall girl who's wearing a hoodie and jeans. She has her hair open and a scrunchie in her wrist. A hydro flask and an sksksksk and she'll be a vsco girl. The girl beams "HI!"
"Um hello," I say with a neutral face.
"This is Alyssa" Lexi chirps, she moves her hand towards the girl "This is Cecelia"
"Great," I say, "I'm-" I point to the stairs and start walking backwards.
"Alyssa Green," My mom says holding my arm. I turn around "What?" I spit.
"Where were you? I called you so many times, stop going out." She whispers shouts
"Yeah my phone died, I was at the library, " I say dryly. It didn't. I just switched it off.
"You can't go out every day, especially with that boy. Now come join us for dinner and BEHAVE." She eyes me and then leaves.
Wow. Her words kind of hurt. I didn't go out of the house for so long and suddenly when I am trying to, she has a problem with me. Also, who told her about Ryan? Ugh. Stomping my feet I walk to join everyone in the dining hall.
The dad's bald and the mom's hyperactive. They make a perfect weird family. Even their last name is weird, Fogg, but who am I to say, mine's based on colour. Turns out they were mom, dad's classmates before they got married and shifted to Texas. And now they're back. All I've done in the past 30 minutes is play with food and listen to their boring stories. Everyone greeted me when I entered and went back to whatever they were talking about. Nobody's talking to me, not even Lexi. My mind keeps on going back to Ryan, every time I try to push his thought away it just gets more embedded in my mind.
Finally excusing myself 10 minutes later I walk to my room. Turning my phone on I wait for some message from Ryan. A ping on my phone catches my attention as I lock the door. I practically jump at my phone, It isn't from Ryan, It's an email. I quickly open it. The only words I read are We regret to inform you, the rest isn't visible. My hands shake as I lower down the phone, my eyes are filled with tears threatening to spill. My lips quiver, I sniffle quietly as I slide onto the floor. Ryan's statement, mom's words, We regret to inform you; they keep on replaying in my head. A drop falls onto my collarbone. Streams of tears of hurt flow faster than my heartbeat. The tears sting on my skin, frantically wiping them away I try to stop. It's been so long since I've cried. I don't want to cry, it's for weak people. Taking deep breaths I try to calm myself but it just makes it worse. I close my eyes and soon the darkness surrounds me.
"Alyssa, honey wake up." Somebody softly shakes me. I open my eyes, it's dad.
"Hmm?" I snuggle on his arm. "C'mon honey we need to go." He pats my head. I feel somebody picking me up. Dad momentarily bends down to pick something up. His cologne fills my nose as I breathe slowly onto the back of his neck.
I see my room receding as we walk out. A crying sound comes to my ear.
"What's that?" I yawn. "It's Lexi honey. We're going to the hospital." Mom comes in view with a baby hidden in her arms. The scene makes me hide my face in his neck, clutching tightly onto him.
"Hospital? What's that?" I softly ask my eyes closed. He always spoke such big words.
"It's a place where doctors and nurses treat you."
"What's a—-?" I ask but he interjects between my question.
"They save lives, honey." He says. That wasn't my question. I knew what a doctor was, but somehow his answer satisfied me.
"Alyssa." The sound makes me startle, I frantically open my eyes to see a figure standing in front of me. I crawl back slamming my head in the wall.
"Oww" I put a hand on the back of my head, squinting my eyes at the person standing in front of me.
"It's Lexi." The voice says.
"What are u doing here at-" I click on the power button of my phone to look at the time "4 in the morning?"
She comes closer "Why are you sleeping on the floor?" My brain floods with yesterday night's happenings at her question. Trying to keep a straight face I stand up. My whole body's stiff as I walk towards my bed. The dried tears on my cheeks can be felt.
"Go away," I say as I plop onto my bed. It wasn't a dream, I remember it, in bits and pieces, it was a distant memory. My brain's playing some kind of a sick joke on me. The dream's all I can think of as I try to sleep.
****
"Alyssa!" There's a loud thud on my door. I'm awake, I've been awake since Lexi came for my room. But I'm no mood of leaving my bed. The pounding grows louder. Groaning I leave my bed.
"What?" I open the door. It's mom. I furrow my eyebrows as I look at the clock on the wall behind her. It's 8:56 Am. What is she doing here?
She raises her eyebrows at my condition but doesn't say anything. With a confused expression on my face, I walk to my bed. Huh. Never in 17 years, she has come to me to tell me she's leaving for work.
Maybe it's her a way of telling you to not go outside my subconscious adds.
Yeah.Maybe. It wasn't like I was going to though. I sit on my bed's edge as I surf through my phone. There's nothing new, only disappointment. I put it aside as I try not to think about everything.
Heaving I put my hair into a bun and walk to the bathroom. My eyes are puffy, there are stains on my cheeks and my cheeks plumped. Mom saw me like this, Shit. Quickly I brush my teeth and wash my face. Stripping down I look into the mirror. A disfigured body meets my eyes. Uneven boobs, stomach flab, Not so round butt and thin thighs. Images of models flash before my eyes. Running a hand along my stomach I mentally take note to starve myself. Tears prick my eyes as I take a 360° look at my body. Rubbing my eyes I shake my head moving into the shower. The whole time I shower I can only think of Ryan. I rub the soap hardly on my body as if I'm cleaning every trace of yesterday. The cold water feels magnificent. I don't know how long I stand under it, but it's enough to make my fingers go numb.
Wrapping a towel I come out leaving a trail of water behind as I move towards my cupboard.
Picking up the plainest T-shirt and sweats I apply the cream on my face. I'm in no mood for a run. My stomach rumbles but I ignore it. There's no chance I'm going to eat anything right now. I keep on staring at the wall when Lexi's face comes to my mind. She came to my room at 4 in the morning, why?
Leaving my bed I walk towards her room. Sound of my footsteps echoes as I move. I quietly open the door, she's sleeping. An empty bowl of ice cream sits on the table beside her. She probably cried watching a movie. Rolling my eyes I shut the door behind me.
Picking up a book from the bookshelf I go downstairs to engage myself in something to pass my time because who am I kidding, even though I don't want to accept it I know, I'm going to get bored a lot without Ryan.
A/N: Just want to take my time to Thank all the frontline workers <3
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rainbows
Teen Fiction" I think rainbows are like humans. A person is like a white light, made up of different things, versions of themselves, mistakes, hardships, Just like the rainbow. Each colour is different but is equally important in order to make the white light...
