How To Make You Mine

Chapter 5

« Because I love you ! »

Max's voice was certain, his gaze steady, body shaking due to his frustration.

The words resonated in the silent living room, Tul was sure both men could hear his heart pounding frantically, his head was spinning.

« Wha-what did you say ? »

« I said, I love you. » Max made a move to reach for him, but Tul took a step back, not letting the other man touch him. He shakes his head, not believing him, he did not want to believe him. He was tired of the hurt, the anger, and the jealousy he felt with Max. Their relationship was too complicated. So, he did the thing he thought was best for him, for them.

« Max this was a mistake. What we did was a mistake. » Tul's voice was low, trying to control the tremor in his voice.

Max felt like he just received a punch in his face, disbelief written on his face, he felt his heart stop beating for a second. The love confession he had rehearsed on his way, dying on his tongue. Unable to bear the sad expression on his friend's face, Tul turned around, eyes facing the floor.

« Tul, listen ! Wait- » Max launched himself to Tul, wrapping his arms around the guy's waist.

« Tul, wait... » his voice pleading, he continued « it wasn't a mistake don't say that. » Tul stiffened and Max felt the other grabbed both his arms and pried them off him, turning around, Tul held Max's wrists, trying to prevent any movement from the younger man.

« Stop ! I don't want to hear you anymore. Leave » Tul declared with a stern voice, his grip on Max's wrists tightening, his eyes shining with indefinable feelings.

« Tul, please listen to me, I.. » he was hoping he would be able to stop Tul from leaving him or at least get a proper answer from Tul regarding his feelings.

« I said, leave ! » Tul sudden outburst made the two of them stare at each other for a while, both surprised at what had transpired.  He wanted him to leave him alone, or else, he knew his body would betrayed him and he would run in Max's arm again, and back to be the same idiot he was all these years.

Max startled face then turned into a face of understanding.

Ram was watching the scene, feeling powerless. He wanted to hug Tul, to comfort him. It was obvious he was trying hard to not break down in tears while he was rejecting the other man. Why was he doing that anyway ? He loved him, right ? He thought utterly confused, but now was not the moment to question Tul's action, Tul needed him.

« Fine, if that is what you want, I'm leaving, but I'm not done with you. » Max said on a final tone that did not leave any room for an objection. He turned away, and made his way to the front door.

Thinking that he might have been too much, after all they were still friends, Tul made a move towards Max retreating back, when he felt arms round his waist and a whispered « don't. »

Hearing the door being forcefully closed, he slumped into Ram's embrace.

« Hey baby, are you okay ? » he caressed his hair.

« I, ye-yes, no, fuck. I don't know »

Tul's voice was unsure, his entire body was shaking in Ram's arms, he was clinging to the taller guy.

Ram hugged him tighter, running one of his hand reassuringly over his back, while the other one was still caressing his hair.

« Why did you tell him that, hum ? » he asked him gently.