Meet Me in Amsterdam

Chapter 18: Krisha

I wanted to keep Nate away from what's making him feel this way. I hate to see him stressed or confused about anything. So I thought of another vacation surprise. Trying to pull surprises as much as I could.

"Baby? Whatever's bothering you, I think I already have a solution to that. File your leave again. I'm sure you'll be allowed to do so since you've been working too much for two years already. Time to give yourself a break."

"What is it now, Krish?" He answered completely having no idea of what I was talking about out of nowhere.

"What I mean, love, is that I got us a trip to Bali. It's one of the popular destinations for couples and you know how much I love a beach vacay with you. I hope you liked my mini surprise. Because if not, my heart's gonna go ouchy." I said while hugging him and planting kisses all over his face.

You don't deserve to be stressed out my Nathaniel. I'll do anything and everything I can just to make you feel better. Like what I always tried to do since day 1. I won't let anyone or anything hurt you. That's how much I love you baby.

"Krish, sit on my lap dear. You always spoil me and for two years of being in this relationship, all you've given me is incomparable to all the things I did for you. What did I do to deserve you darling? I'm a mess but here you are making me feel like I am someone who doesn't need to worry about anything."

Nate told me while resting his face on my chest and hugging me tight. Sitting on his lap like a child made me fall in love with him again and I know I'll never stop feeling this way for him. I will fall for him over and over again. Whatever happens, I'll choose you, Nate. I won't get tired of you even if a day comes that you hate yourself. I'll make you feel that you're worthy and I won't mind if you push me away. I'll make you love yourself so that with no rush, you'll love me too.

"I just want to spend my whole life with you. Whatever you do, just remember that I am here for you. I am proud of you and I'll always support you whatever you want in life. I'll help you achieve your goals and take each step with you." I said and he's just silent, locked in his position so I ran my fingers through his hair and gave him a kiss on his forehead.

It has been a few minutes since he became silent and when I lifted his face to check up on him, I saw tears falling from his eyes.

"Darling, what's wrong? Did I do something wrong? Baby tell me because I don't want you feeling lonely and no tears please hon. Big boy, speak up."

I'm really worried and I don't know what's happening anymore. He's been acting weird lately but I don't want to add up to the stress he is feeling so I chose to stay quiet and tried to understand him.

"Nothing Krish. I just don't know what to do without you. It's like you don't deserve me at all. I'm hurting you because I'm useless. I mean, tell me one thing incredible that I did for you to make you feel the way you're making me feel. There's none."

"Come on Nate. Am I asking for anything? As far as I can remember, I never asked for anything too much. I'm doing these because I wanted to. Your existence is enough. Our relationship is enough. You know what you did? It's effortless but it means the world to me."

"What is it?" He asked me with his teary and puffy eyes.

"It's simply loving me baby. I know you love me. I feel it. You take care of me and I trust you. You're not hurting me okay? Even if you do hurt me sooner or later, know that I'll stay with you. Always. Even if you push me away."

He was speechless. I meant every single word and I just want him to feel better. Before I was able to stand up because I was planning to get a glass of water for my crying baby boy, he pulled me.

He kissed me with all the emotions he had so I responded. I felt love, anger, hunger, sadness, and everything combined from his kiss. I'm not dumb so I know something's wrong. I've been feeling it and it's already been for weeks already. But I don't care and tried hard to be numb. I love him with all my heart.

I kissed him back and pulled away from the cuddle. I want him to want me more. To crave for me and remember me. To hold onto us. I stood up and went to the kitchen to finally give him water.

"Nate, now tell me do you feel better? Pack your stuff because our flight is actually tomorrow. Sorry for the short notice. You know how I do surprises. I love you! Let me cook something for you so just calm your ass there, play, watch or take a nap just do whatever you want honey."

"I love you too. Thanks Krish. I'm feeling better because you're the best." He finally said he loves me too again. I've been waiting for it since his Amsterdam trip. He became cold and out of his usual self but I never asked for anything. I kept myself busy throughout the cold phase and let him breathe. I feel grateful for today because at last, I think everything's gonna be okay. I hope I saved our relationship. I hope he doesn't fall out of love, ever.