Meet Me in Amsterdam

Chapter 25: Xyl

As far as I can think of logically, practically, and how it should be, best friends don't kiss especially on the lips and on top of it, when they're of opposite genders.

I didn't have the energy to get mad at Nathaniel for what he did at that moment. I just felt numb and tears fell from my eyes because of shock. The kiss felt familiar as if it wasn't our first time but that doesn't change the fact that he did it without my approval.

He even left me without an apology. Was I too dumb for choosing a wrong place to meet a guy? I just wanted privacy because I knew that I'd cry once he tells me stories about me and my past. I had no other intention. I just wanted to have serenity. I didn't want people seeing me miserable and crying with a man so I opted with the karaoke room. Damn it.

I am so emotional right now because I know that didn't want a kiss. I shouldn't have trusted him. Okay, but there must be an explanation right? I can't fully judge someone just because he did something unethical.

I stood up and drank two glasses of water because this really stresses the hell out of me. I can forgive people easily but I also know not to tolerate wrongdoings. The thought of him being adorable and such when I met him in Amsterdam faded away in an instant because of that stupid kiss.

I lighted my scented candle and closed my eyes. Meditation is the best thing to do right now. I don't want to hate someone and I don't want to be stressed because I love myself. Self love is a must and ladies deserve respect.

I won't take away his right to explain but I also don't want to be with him. Not yet. He helped me in learning some of my past and I'll take that into consideration.

After the meditation and a quick night shower, I just did my skin care routine and laid down to bed. I feel so exhausted. I was trying to sleep when my phone got a notification so I checked it.

"I am really sorry for what I did. I know you have a boyfriend and I should've thought better at that moment before making a move." Nathaniel sent me this text message and I need to calm down my ass. Like what I've told myself, I won't take away his right to explain.

Breathe in, breathe out. Think clearly and make him understand the consequences of what he did.

"Let's keep it this way. With or without boyfriend, what you did was off limits. You should not and never should treat a girl like that. It's nice to meet you but I guess it's not the right time to talk about anything any time soon. I just need help to bring back my memories but you seem to get the wrong idea. You should've known better if we really were best friends. I forgive you but I can't hang out with you yet. I appreciated your effort for helping me remember. Thank you for that but I won't appreciate any help as of now. Reserve the other stories for next time if there will be any."

I meant everything I said in the text message I sent him. I believe it wasn't being harsh at all because he needs to learn his lesson.

Right after sending it, I put my phone on the bed table and drank another glass of water. I wanted to undo the kiss but this is reality so I couldn't. I guess I just have to get some sleep and start a good day tomorrow.