The Ruler of Wattpadia - Contest

Defense from Lady Miriam

The Witch Defense Bureau has just recieved this letter from Lady Miriam of Ashburg:

To our Dear Queen, and to my Anonymous Accuser,

I don't understand this "Gothic appearance" thingamajiggie you say I have. I wear simple clothing that cannot catch on things and trip me, because I trip enough on my own. I can trip over AIR, I'm that klutzy. My aunt says I'm never going to get married, because I'm so clumsy. And my hair is brown and I have green eyes...I can't help those. My appearance should not be grounds for accusing me of being a witch.

Also, I had a hard time coming up with those laws. I'd never thought of making a law before, and a couple of those were suggested by my Aunt Hermione. The old bat.

Yes, I called her an old bat. She's the one who raised me after my mother died when I was 8. And she taught me all her recipes, too. You would not believe how many hours I had to sit there and memorize things like how many toadstools to put in that green stuff in the pot in the fireplace. And it was all gross and icky.

And then I had to memorize what she called "incantations" that actually TURN PEOPLE INTO TOADS....and turtles. Or put people in toads and turtles... or whatever it does.

I just know my Aunt Hermione is in my glass turtle my mother gave me. I know, because I put her there. I wore that big, fancy, pink dress she insisted on to the ball, though. I hate pink. What a god-awful color. If I'd had any sense before I got dressed, I'd have turned it green to match my eyes.

You know what else I had to do? I had to learn how to read tea leaves. If you don't think that's hard to do, well, just take my word for it. And I had to go inside this cave she found and do a "rite." And there was a SPIDER in my hair when I came out. And blood all over me. My blood. I had to sacrifice my own blood to someone I don't even know!

But like I said, now she can't make me do all those icky things. She's in the turtle. And I'm FREE! Hahahahahaha!

Wait...

Holy puffballs, I'm a witch!

I am sorry, my Queen. Do what you have to do to me.

And just when someone proposed to me, too. Poor Lord Sora. (And Nyeah, to Aunt Hermione!) Please, tell him I'm sorry. Now that I've started doing magic on my own, I can't seem to stop.

Sincerely,

Lady Miriam Herbert