Post-Reveal/Truth

POST-... WHAT?

"And that's it" Lena finished.

It finally seemed like they were getting anywhere near the end of the very long and exhausting night that was earlier cut off by the dawn of the early morning.
4 AM and counting.

"It sounds bad," Alex told her and sighed at the papers that she was holding tight in her tired hands,

"I know, believe me, I know... but I'm telling the truth. I promise you" Lena wiped the tears and took in a shuddering breath.

"Your trial starts in a few more months, which means we'll probably have more evidence to prove that you've been framed. For now, Andrea and Lockwood are silent. We haven't found Dey yet so-"

"When will I get to see Kara?" Lena interrupted her.

Alex took a deep breath. If only Lena knew what happened.

"Alex, please... I need to see her. Can you let me see her?" Lena asked in a whisper, her cheeks flushed.

It's been over three months since she saw the blonde beautiful girl. Lately, it seemed like Kara was overtaking, firmly, most of her thinking time.
What happened between the two was far from over. Especially for Lena, because she hasn't gotten to tell Kara how sorry she was.
Never gotten to say three words that have been waiting impatiently to burst out of her mouth into the world after she kept them hidden for so long. Lena couldn't help but think of the way her life would've looked like if she had the time, just a few more seconds, to tell Kara those three words and change her life.
And maybe, just maybe, Kara's life too.
Change the picture of the emptiness in her eyes that was carved in the brunette's head, wretched and innocent.

For days she's been trying to come up with the best apology she could think of. She tried to think of a way to say "I'm sorry".
In a way that would bring back that adorable smile of Kara's. A sorry that would make her eyes shine of happiness. One that would pull out that disarming laughter of hers, the same way it used to come so easily whenever they were together. She wanted to see that optimism that could lighten up the darkest room. She wanted to see that hope and will for justice that has saved her more times than she could count. To hear her comforting, breathtaking words of belief in what's good and right that had made Lena look up to her all of these years.
And more than anything, Lena had missed Kara's love. For her family, for her friends... and
for her.


"You are not going to," Alex responded, firm and harsh, swallowed by the dimmed lights, tiredness, and by the wave of anger that washed over her, hearing Lena's question.
It wasn't the first time Lena has asked her that question, most of the time helpless and scared and the more time they spent together, her voice was more confident and sharp, searching badly for answers.

"You're not getting anywhere near her."

It wasn't how Alex wanted it to come out, but it wasn't up to her. The more Lena slammed those questions at her, the bigger the wave of anger was. Or, as she liked to call it, the 'bad angle', on her shoulder,

"Not after what you've done" she added with a low voice, just in case it was unclear to the overwhelmed brunette,

"Alex, please. I need to tell her the truth... I want to tell her how sorry I'm."

Alex's heart broke. She knew how much Lena loved Kara. Just like Kara loved her. She has known it for certainty once she heard the green-eyed girl's voice at the first investigation, back then, three months ago. She would be lying if she said she couldn't tell from the very beginning.

But no. Love or hate, friends, or enemies.
She couldn't shake off Kara's glance, hurting, her eyes, burning, her screams, aching.

No.

"That will be all. Please, if you have any more information to give, inform one of the agents," the director stood up.

"No... Alex! Please!" Lena stood up too.

Alex turned around and walked out of the room that Lena was held at.

"Alex!" Lena slammed on the desk.

Alex forced herself to keep on walking until the door closed behind her. She sighed at Lena's nonstop shouting and kept walking down the hallway,

"How did it go?" J'ohn asked her, after waiting outside for too long,

"She's not hiding anything, but I can't find anything to prove her innocence."

J'ohn signed, "I know this is hard for you, and I know you're going through a lot these past weeks... so if you want me to take over the DEO for a while...-"

"No, no, you've done more than enough J'ohn," Alex silenced him, "I'm grateful, really. All I need you to do is to-"

"-to manage the UDS, I know. Just let me know if you need anything else."

"Thank you. I know she's not here to fight."

He placed his hand on her shoulder. Alex let out a shuddering breath, "just keep everyone on guard. National City needs its best defenders now" she said and looked at him with sad eyes,

"Supergirl is not here to defend National City, but the United Defending Force is doing it in her name, and we're doing it her way," J'ohn assured Alex who was nodding with pride at each word he was saying.
The alien nodded goodbye and walked back to the main hall in a DEO.

Alex took a deep breath of tiredness and walked into a different room at the back of the hallway,

"Dammit!"

She looked to the side with surprise when a ball was thrown strongly at the wall behind her.
She glanced at the center of the room.

"Hey."

"Hey," she received a tired and forced answer,

"How are you holding up?" She took a chair and sat down,

"How are you?"

Alex signed at the avoidance of her own question and put on a sad smile,

"I'm okay" she answered, "I'm going to see Kara in a while... I've heard this ball thrown at that wall countless times... and the shouting"

"I am fine Alex, I'm sorry I couldn't save her."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not"

She swallowed, forcing backward that same lump of sadness, down her throat that has been coming up over and over again... almost out, threatening to show weakness and sore and then crawled right back in, at every swallow.

"How's your hand?" She changed the subject, then got up and walked closer,

"How do you think?"

"Winn... you've been tortured. You can't expect everything to be back to normal so fast."

"Fast?? I've been trying to heal for weeks! Months! Nothing works! I can barely type on a computer, not to mention fixing her! Saving her Alex!" he got up and yelled,

"None of us can Winn! We've tried everything!" Alex yelled back with anger and desperation. She stopped, panting, lower lip shaking,

"This... this is not on you"

Winn sat back down. Alex did the same and gave him a sad smile. She's missed him so much...
If only Kara could talk to him too. To catch up after all this time, and maybe convince him to hope for things to get better.
She could've used her help too, after all, she was hurting more than all of them, and it didn't take any strength or wisdom for Winn to tell. She didn't have to hide it when she was with him.
She was devastated, crushed, helpless. And maybe, she could've used one of Kara's speeches now, hopeful and pining for her to do better.
The pain was enormous.

Too enormous.

"You are going to make it. We all are"

"I don't know what to do" Alex whispered sadly, "I miss her so much"

"This is my fault. You need to let me help you" Winn's eyes were flooded with tears.

"This is not on you. You were threatened at, your mother was in danger... I would've done the same thing" Alex said and wiped a tear, a beginning of a flood, washing over her cheeks,

"I've missed you all so much"

"I know. We'vemissed you too" Alex whispered with a broken voice that came as a resultof the tears,

"You should go see her now."


Alex nodded with comfort. It was time