The Bucket List (Write Affair Finalist)

Chapter 28: I'm so sorry.

~ Chapter 28: I'm so sorry. ~

(A/N: Hey guys! I hope this explains everything that happened in the previous chapter, let me know if you still want a Damon's POV! I think I said it before but I'll write it again here in case you haven't seen: I finished writing this story (so there are 51 chapters + epilogue + Damon's bucket list in the end) so I decided to publish one or two chapters a day form now on. Yay!
Ok, that's it, good reading, and please don't forget to vote/comment! :) )

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Three days passed, all resembling the other. All as boring as the others and just as sad. I didn’t manage to feel better, even with all of Jenny’s efforts. There was still this little voice in my head wondering “What if Damon died? What if it was the last time I saw him and I shouted at him and didn’t even get to say that I loved him one more time?”

And then, the fourth day, when I went out to pick the mail, I think my heart stopped. I literally dropped the mail on the ground, my mouth open wide in shock. Damon was standing there, looking all suntanned and hot as hell, wearing sunglasses. I actually wondered for two seconds if it wasn’t a mirage but then he said “Hey”.

I swallowed hard, not knowing what to reply. My brain was working in slow motion, trying to assimilate everything. And then I started crying. Damon dropped his bags and took my in his arms, his soft strong arms. I lay my head on his shoulder and tired to stop myself to stop crying.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry Leah.” Damon was repeating while hugging me and caressing my back softly.

I pulled away from his arms and focused on not looking in his eyes, because I knew I was going to melt otherwise.

“I tried to stay away from you, to try not to hurt you but I… I couldn’t. I’m so sorry. I couldn’t do it. Traveling had no point without you. Living had no point without you. I don’t want to see you hurt. But I don’t want to live the few weeks I have left without you either. So… I don’t know what to do. I mean, should I be a good guy and do the right thing, which is leave to keep you from hurting, or should I act selfish and stay … ? I don’t know, I just…”

He stopped talking when I kissed him and I heard him sigh of relief against my mouth. He was so close I could hear his heart beat faster than ever against mine. God I had missed him!

When we stopped kissing, we were both smiling.

“You’re an idiot.” I said.

“I know.”

“Do you really think if you left I wouldn’t hurt? It was even worse!”

“I don’t know what to do.”

“We only have a few months left and I wasn’t lying when I said that I wanted to spend each one with you. We already lost so much time, let’s not waste any second we have left, ok?”

He nodded then kissed me.

“Man I missed you!” He sighed, hugging me.

“You have no idea.”

We went inside and Jenny was as surprised as I had been to see Damon.

“So, you’re back?” She asked.

He nodded and looked a little embarrassed. I proposed to go in my room so we did. He sat on my bed and looked at the broken frame on my shelf. I had broken it in an access of anger. There was a picture of the two of us inside.

“I’m sorry I hurt you Leah.” He said. “I thought it would be easier for you if I left.”

I didn’t answer anything and he took the guitar, before starting playing a few chords.

“So, you guys went to a Shooting Star concert.”

“Yeah, it was awesome.”

He started singing Girl Next Door and I smiled, listening to him. He ended the song then put the guitar against my wall.

 “So, how was Australia?” I asked.

“I didn’t really go actually. I stayed at Mathew’s. And then we sort of went in a road trip. It was cool, but much less than when I’m with you.”

I didn’t answer anything. I couldn’t help myself but feeling… mad at him. He had put me through a lot of pain, days of crying, and I should just forgive him like that? Ok, I had missed him, and I loved him. More than anything. But he needed to know he wasn’t allowed to just leave me like that. Ok, sure, he wasn’t going to have much choice when he would have to… die, but until then, he couldn’t just say “see ya” and leave. That wasn’t right. Just like he was reading my mind, Damon said “I’m sorry”.

I still wasn’t saying anything. As much as I loved him, he had hurt me. A lot. And I wasn’t ready to open up to him until I was sure he wasn’t going to leave me again. Who new, maybe tomorrow he was going to think it was “best for me” if he left without saying why or where.

“I get that you’re mad at me. I shouldn’t have left like that. I should have explained it to you.”

Damn right you should have. I thought. I kept my eyes on the wall. I knew if I lay my eyes on him, it was over. I couldn’t resist his look. He was able to do whatever the hell he wanted with me when I was dived in his eyes.

“I promise you I will never do that again. Ever.”

“How can I know its true?” I asked, feeling my eyes filling themselves with tears. “We were happy, we were having a great time and one day, bam, you just leave me. You have no idea what it felt like Damon. Some days, I was wondering if you were dead!” I screamed, crying. “Can you imagine how hard it was for me to just be in the dark, not knowing if you’re ok or where the hell you were. You don’t get to decide what’s best for me! You’re not my dad, I’m a big girl now and I think I can handle making decisions by myself, I don’t need you to make them for me.”

I wiped my tears from my eyes.

“I know. I shouldn’t have done that. And it’s probably not worth anything right now, but I’m sorry. I really am. It was stupid.”

“Do you still… Do you still love me?” I asked, afraid of what he would answer.

“Leah, I love you so much, you have no idea. You’re... everything to me.”

“You broke up with me.”

“It was the stupidest thing ever. Please, trust me Leah, I love you. I’ll never do that again. Unless you want me to. I swear.”

I sniffed and Damon wiped the tears with his thumb. I felt electrifying vibes all around my body as he was touching me.

“I forgive you.” I whispered.

“Really?”

“There’s nothing else I can do when you’re looking at me like this. You know I can't think when you’re-“

He kissed me and I stopped talking. Gosh I had missed those lips.

“I’m so sorry…” Damon repeated when he stopped kissing me.

“Let’s not talk about it again ok?

“Ok. So… Where did we leave off on the list?” He asked.