Without A Doubt

Chapter 10.

As soon as I opened my eyes I knew that today was going to be a crap day. Every once in a while, there's a day where I get into this mood. It's not depression, I've been cleared from that. I sat up from my bed and everything felt hazy. My mind was blank, and not in a good way. It's a hard thing to explain. It's like I'm trapped in my own head. Physically speaking and making words come out is actually straining, and requires too much effort. The worst part is, I'm in a crappy mood the entire day. It's just like everything is tedious and annoying. I hate days like this.

I got out of bed and walked to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror but didn't recognize the person looking back. I'm not here. It's going to be a long day. I could already tell because I zoned out in front of the mirror for a good 3 minutes before I brushed my teeth. Whatever. I finished brushing my teeth then went back to my room to change. I just put on jeans and a hoodie, and I was ready to go. The next step was to avoid my mom. She hates it when I get like this. I know she means well but it upsets her that she can't fix the problems in my head. I don't feel like dealing with that right now. She'll try to talk me into staying home and I'll just stare at her and shrug my shoulders because I can't say anything to argue. Well I could but I don't want too. I slipped out of the house before my mom or my dad came out of their room. I'm not really hungry but I know I need to eat, so I picked up a taco and a sweet tea. I didn't eat very much of the taco. I mostly just wanted the sweet tea. As soon as I got to school I put my headphones in and walked in. Once I was inside I could feel that something was off. Something more than just my own personal problems. People were looking at me, but more than usual. Weird.

I sat through two periods in what felt like a fog. I was trapped in my own head, and I couldn't get out. I kept my headphones in to try and drown out the emptiness in my head. I didn't hear anything that my teachers said but I didn't really care, my grades would be fine. I was walking through the halls to my third period with my headphones still in, but I could feel the eyes on me. It was annoying. I was about to get to my classroom when I felt someone pull me by the arm. Startled I turned around and saw Emma staring at me. I don't like the face she's making. I paused my music and gave her a look.

"Mayson, I need to tell you something." I could already see where this was going.

"Come on." I followed her all the way to the library. The bell rang when we walked through the doors. Em then turned around and let out an annoyed breath.

"Okay so I was in second period and I was just minding my own business when I heard some of some of the girls on the cross-country team saying that Mariah told them that you were all these awful things and that she hopes your new girlfriend finds out just how much of a slut you are." I stood there processing what she'd just said.

"Mayson she's telling everyone that you have a new girlfriend and that you're a slut." I can't deal with this today. I felt my hands shaking but not with nervousness. I could feel the burning sensation in my chest start to spread over my body. My thoughts started to overflow, and I let them. Every angry impulse I've ever had felt like it was breaking free from its restraints.

"Mayson..." I walked out of the library and just kept going. I turned my music back on and walked through the halls, it was annoying. I wanted to run. I wanted to just get the hell out of here. I rushed out of the school to get outside to my car. I pulled my keys out of my backpack and started the car as I walked up to it. I drive a 2020 Ford Mustang, blacked out. I got in and threw my backpack in the back seat. The only thought in my head was 'Liv'.

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I ended up driving around for a solid hour. I was going down all of the backroads just seeing how fast I could go. I haven't said a word all day and I honestly don't care. When I woke up I felt hollow. Now, now I'm being consumed by my thoughts. I wondered if Liv heard the rumor. Why the hell does Mariah have such a big mouth. Driving around got tedious, so I started back home. I'm almost 20 minutes away from my house. I hadn't realized how far I'd driven. I had just opened my front door when my phone started buzzing. I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and stared at the screen for a minute before I answered it.