Without A Doubt

Chapter 14.

"I cannot believe you've been fucking around with Jackie!" Emma screamed. I rolled my eyes and drove away from Jackie's house.

"Seriously Mayson? How did that even happen?" I didn't say anything, I just started driving towards the backroads. I can't think straight right now. There're too many things going through my mind. I keep replaying the events of the night. The show, then Canes with everyone, having to leave, picking up Jackie, taking her home. All of is just playing in my mind. It's probably on a loop because it's already going to be 1 in the morning; at night my mind just going in circles.

"Mayson come on! Tell me everything!" Jackie is going to kill me. I wasn't supposed to tell anyone, which really, I didn't.

"I don't know. She just came onto me." I mumbled. I'm in a mood. Jackie's going to kill me, and the one thought that had been silent is now screaming at me. It's the fact that Liv wouldn't even look at me when I left.

I got to this one back road that is just a really long straight that leads to my neighborhood. As soon as I turned onto it I came to a complete stop and put on the perfect song. Once it started playing I stepped on the gas. Emma and I like to do this every once in a while. I like to see how fast my car can go. Once I stepped on the gas, Emma dropped the subject and started to scream at the top of her lungs. When I got up to a hundred Emma put her hands in the air and screamed some more, like she was competing with the blasting music. It was so loud I could feel it in my chest. I gripped the steering wheel as I pushed the pedal even harder to go even faster, I didn't want to slow down. 107...112...120...125...

"Mayson! Maybe you should slow down." 132.

"Mayson Slow The Fuck Down!" 138.

"Mayson!" I finally took my foot off the gas and let the car start to slow down. When I looked over at Emma she had her feet up on the dashboard pushing against it like she was trying to stop the car that way. Her hand was wrapped tight around the 'oh shit' bar, while her other hand was gripping the center console. I started laugh. When I did Emma looked at me like I should be in a mental institution.

"My bad." I grinned.

"God you're crazy." She has no idea.

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It's Monday morning and I'm already overthinking. I don't want to be at school. I don't want to see Jackie. I haven't talked to her since Friday night. After Emma and I got back to my house she would not shut up about the fact that Jackie was the one I've been sleeping with. She asked me a ton of questions. The first time it happened. How many times it happened. A lot of the things she asked I had already told her, but now that she know who it was with she wanted to know absolutely everything. We didn't go to sleep until 4 in the morning, mostly because Emma wouldn't shut up about Jackie. I was answering her questions but I was being short, not in a rude way, but I really, really did not want to be talking about Jackie.

I still have to write something for tomorrows free write. During lunch I was sitting in the library trying to figure out what the hell to write. I had my headphones in and my hands were in my hair. When I start getting really focused on something I start playing with my hair, I don't know why but for some reason it happens. Ms. Scott said she wants to hear something that I wrote when I don't have a prompt. Maybe I should write a poem. I don't know what else I'd do. If I wrote a couple paragraphs they would be too telling. They would give off too much information. If I write a poem then I can be candid, but in a cleverer and more hidden sort of way.

In English I kept thinking about Jackie. I was relieved that Ms. Scott was lecturing again, it means I don't have to talk. I can just listen to Ms. Scott talk about the book. Whenever she lectures she's basically just going through all the chapters that we are supposed to already have read. Her lectures kind of defeat the purpose of reading the chapters because she goes over everything important that's happened in the chapters. Since I've already read the book I wasn't really listening. I kept picturing the way Jackie looked lying in her bed. She looked so innocent, she looked almost sweet. Her long hair had been spread all over the pillow and her soft lips were as pink as ever. I'll try to keep that image in my mind when she's beating the crap out of me on the court next period. I don't have feelings for her. I know it sounds like I do, but I don't. Granted even if I did I wouldn't know what it feels like. I wouldn't be able to recognize the signs that come with liking someone. But of all people, I know Jackie wouldn't be someone that I fell for. Just because I have her attention right now, doesn't mean that it's anything more. She's just infatuated with me for the time being. When the bell rang I put my headphones in before Emma and I left the class. Ms. Scott didn't stop me, someone was asking her questions about the book. I can tell that Ms. Scott thinks that we've become friends. Which granted we kind of have, but it's still weird to have daily discussions with the hottest teacher in the school after every 6th period.