The Bad Boy's Weakness

21- Broken Hearts

"I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once." ~ John Green.

Dedicated to CallMeKyrah

Ethan's POV

My conscience weighs heavy on my mind after Elizabeth met in the accident. She could have died because of me. After beating myself up and finally moving past it,

BOOM!

Rick happened.

I can't forget the painful image of Rick pointing his gun at her. Just like that I could have lost her, she could have died in split seconds all because of me. It feels like I am a time bomb ready to go off, like every good thing that I lay my hands on gets destroyed.

Ever since we have met the only thing that I've brought her is hurt and pain. I need to let her go, I have to set her free. All of these thoughts forms in a ball of anger, making me want to lash out, but afraid that I will hurt her with harsh words.

I'm freaking self-destruct.

So far I have gotten fourteen missed calls and ten messages from her, but I avoid them all. Few minutes later she calls and texts me again, I decide to respond and give her a peace of mind.

Me: I'm okay.

After hitting send, I see her calling again, but I avoid it and went to bed to put my restless mind to sleep.

The next morning I wake up still half asleep from the limited sleep that I got. The way in which I've treated her becomes haunting nightmares, making me wonder if I will ever be more than this or if I will ever find the light for this never ending darkness that seems to be going on.

I groan, not feeling the mood for school. I spend minutes pacing around my bedroom, contemplating about whether or not I should go to school.

After a long period of pacing back and forth, I decide that I would go to school, having a plan in mind. The plan is simple, avoid her in class and afterwards, break up with her.

The thought of being away from her tears me up. I can feel the pain slowly eating me up, savoring the flesh from my heart piece by piece until there is nothing left, dissolving the tangible physical substance that is in my body. My soul feels like it has been detached from my body, living as its own self.

Checking the time, I realize that it is now 8:03am.

Dang!

I'm gonna be so late for school.

After a few minutes, I arrive at school and hasten my footsteps through the broad hallway until I am at the home room where I spend a few minutes pacing back and forth, before building up the courage to make my way inside.

The moment that I step in, our eyes align and we maintain contact, making me lost in her green eyes. All the walls that I put up crumble, all the plans that I made to break up with her starts to fade, making me realize where my heart belongs, making me realize that she is my home. My heart cries when I see how much she's hurting, when I realize the relief that she feels at the sight of me.

I complete my steps over to her, getting in place for the rehearsal of the cast. I can feel her staring at me, making me fight the urge to stare back, but fails miserably. I then squeeze her fingers gently and  whisper in her ear.

"Kiss me." I say, knowing deep down that this is meant to be my last kiss.

"Everyone will see." she responds softly.