I KNOW WHO I AM

Chapter 19 (If I were him)

(Above is the song from Indigo entitled "If I were him", I tried to find the one that he sang with English subtitle, but I can't find him. so I decided to choose the one that Sam Tsui covered! Enjoy! I really love the lyrics though) ^_^

I fix my cloth as I walk to the hotel's lobby. Today is a nice day for me. I woke up early and I feel better than before. Maybe because I starts to accept the fact that Harris is cheating on me, it's been four days since that day. He keeps contacting me every day and ask me for a chance to explain himself about the situation.

It's not like I don't want to hear his explanation, it's just I'm not ready yet. Maybe if he ask me for another chance today, I would give in to him. Yeah, you might think that I'm stupid but I like him a lot that I keep hoping that he could make a valid excuse to proof that he didn't cheat on me.

I sigh, I wait for Oat to come down from his room. As promised, today is the day that I would bring Oat for a tour. I took this as a chance for me to sober up myself from my current situation.

"Hey stranger" I heard Oat greeted me. I ignore him and pretend that I didn't heard what he said.

"Hello" He said again. I strain myself from smiling. Then I yelp when he hit me with his wallet.

"Auch! What the heck!" I screamed.

"Why did you ignore me?" He asked.

I just laugh at him. Then we went to a restaurant because Oat keep whining saying that he is hungry.

Luckily I lived in Malacca, a beautiful city with a lot of historical places. So I could bring him to visit all the interesting places here. Furthermore, there is also a lot of delicious food. After we finished eating at the restaurant, I bring him to a small café near a river that sell delicious desert such as ABC (ice mixed), Durian's Cendol and many more!

"Uhmmm! This is delicious!" He said as he eat his ABC.

"Don't you have any ABC at Thailand?" I ask.

"We have, but this is delicious. Maybe because I ate it with a sweet person. So this dessert becomes sweeter" He replied.

I shook my head as I heard his answer.

"I think you ate too many sweets that you ended up become a sweet talker" I said.

He just chuckled with my responded.

"Oh so this is why you didn't answer any of my call and my text. You met someone else" I heard someone said that behind me.

I turn to see who is the person and saw Harris standing there with the girl that I saw at the parking. My heart aches but I keep showing the emotionless expression so that he didn't know how hurt I was.

"Oh so, you can cheat on me but I can't?" I mock him.

"Yan" He called me using his sweet voice.

"I'm not his girlfriend, I'm his cousin. I keep calling him honey because we used to address it to ourselves since we were kids" That girl statement shock me. Is it true that she is his cousin?

Oat was looking at me confusedly. I said to him that I will explain it to him later. He just nod.

"Yan, did u heard what she said? She is my cousin, nothing more than that. Please come back to me hurm? I miss you a lot." Harris pleaded.

I took a deep breath before reply to him.

"Are you really his cousin?" I ask that girl.

I could see that she is hesitant to answer but she just nod at me. I'm still not 100 percent sure about their relationship. I mean, how can cousin be so close like that?

My mind was full of question but my heart was yearn for Harris. So today, I decided to follow my heart as I don't want to feel sad anymore. Little that I know, there is a huge challenge that waiting for me.

I said to Harris that I would text him when I got home and discuss about us. He agreed to that and said sorry to Oat before he leave.

"What happened? It's just two month and you already fell into a complicated relationship?" He eagerly asked me.

I chuckled. I told him everything, I don't know why but with him sitting in front of me makes it easier for me to vent all the things that happened to me even though I said that I want to keep it to myself.

After I finished, he seems shocked and sad? I don't know if I saw it correctly but I do saw a flash or sadness and hurt in his eyes. Why did he feel sad?

"Did you choose to believe what he said?" He ask.

"Hurmm.. I don't know, it's true that I feel sad that day when I heard she called him honey. But when I think about it again, I didn't give him a proper time for him to explain himself. If I just give him chance, maybe I wouldn't feel sad for many days." I laughed as I ended my explanation.

Oat just keeps silent. Then I could hear he mumble something but couldn't hear it properly as he say it while he looking down at his dessert.

"What did you say?" I ask him.

He just shook his head and continue to eat his ABC.

Oat's POV

I can't believe it! We just separated for two month and she already in a relationship!

I glare at that boy. If I'm not mistaken, his name is Harris. I look at him from his hair to his feet. I admit that he is indeed handsome but I'm more handsome than him.

I just sits there and hear their conversation. Yan looks very emotionless but I know deep down she try her best to maintain her emotion.

After that boy is gone, I listen to Yan's story and that makes me sad and hurt at the same time. I mean, I wait for her but she didn't noticed me and then she involved in a toxic relationship and now she wants to give a chance to that boy.

I don't believe that boy. I'm a man and I know what other man thinking. I could sense that he is plotting something to Yan.

I look at my dessert and say...

"If you were with me, you wouldn't getting hurts and I would give a lot of love to you" but I said it slowly so that Yan can't hear it.

In her eyes, I was just a friend and for me, I wish I could be more than that. I want to be the one that could make her smile, that could hear she bragging about her new talent although she would give up on her new talent so fast and I want to be the one that could be a place for her to consult when she sad.

I just look at her while she was looking at the river and eating her dessert happily.

"At least, right now I could see that she is happy because of that boy" I sigh.

I keep looking at her and enjoy her beautiful laugh when she saw something funny.

End of POV