An Unexpected Romance ~Drarry~

Chapter 14

Draco
It had been a month since Harry and I began dating, in secret of course, and my depression seemed to be clearing up. Well, I still found it hard to be fully happy, but I was genuinely smiling a lot more now - mostly with Harry. I was still having restless nights, and my appetite was still quite small, but with Harry's support I was eating a bit more every day... Even if it was only a couple of sweets or an extra half-spoon of something. Sometimes I still thought about suicide - but it was more like what would happen if I died, and less actually wanting to die. Maybe it was because I had something to live for?

A few days after we began dating, I finally opened up to Harry about how I still cut. I hated every second of it - while dark thoughts plagued my mind on how I let him down. I expected to see disappointment in his eyes, or maybe even anger and frustration. But I didn't. I only saw sadness, but not because he was sad that I hadn't told him I still cut, but because I had to go through that on my own. I wasn't stupid - I knew it was basically pity - and yes, I felt resentful for that - but I knew that Harry was trying his best, and that was all that mattered.

But overall, things were getting better. I eventually made up with Pansy and Blaise, and my grades were even getting more and more better. On my last Herbology assessment I got an E, and on my last Muggle Studies essay I got an O - so I was getting a lot better. Until I saw my father's owl fly into the Great Hall one Monday morning. My hands were shaking as I picked it up, which no one seemed to notice; too engrossed in their breakfast or conversation. I knew what the letter was before I even opened it: it happened term.

Brat,
As I am sure you are aware, the Christmas holidays are approaching, and I am demanding you returned home as usual. We have much to discuss, and I would rather do this face to face than over a letter. You know what will happen if you fail to return willingly, and I would hate for an unfortunate accident to happen to your friends.
//////
Lucius Malfoy

My breath caught in my throat. It was obvious my father was pissed off about something, and talks with my father normally ended with me screaming on the floor with my father yelling crucio. I hated going home for the holidays. My father didn't want me there - he just wanted 2 weeks to torture me. I could feel my chest tightening, and my anxiety was building up. My breath quickened - the rest of the hall became a blur. I shot up from the table and ran out the hall, everything blurring and becoming unfocused.

I had no idea where I was going - all I knew was I had to get away. I had to get away. I couldn't breathe. I was choked up like I'd just had a long torturing session. Nothing was focused. My hearing had tuned out. I heard people near me, but I couldn't make out their faces. They were speaking to me, but I could barely hear them. I was in a corner, and they were surrounding me. I still couldn't breathe! There were a few more people now, and I felt even more closed in. I couldn't breathe. I was hyperventilating. Some of the people were arguing, but I couldn't here them. Three more people came - but I still couldn't breathe. I wanted to shout, cry, scream.... But my throat was choked up and all I could do was rasp.

"Give him some space!" I barely heard someone say. They must have been shouting, but to me it only a whisper to me. They pushed the others out of the way and I could see a whirl of black. But I still couldn't breathe. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't breathe...

Then I passed out.

Argh, I'm sorry this chapter is so, so bad. I hate this chapter, and I have no idea where I was going with this to be honest, it literally has no plot line whatsoever. Also, I'm sorry if the panic attack wasn't that accurate. Personally I haven't had an actual panic attack, I've only had anxiety attacks. And I know it's really rare to pass out from a panic attack, but yeah okay. I was bad, and I hate it. Sorry for wasting your time on this awful update.