Balance - Tss Au

Chapter 3: Now with dogs

Tw: Eating disorder (Bed, ana), mentions of toxic parenting

Patton woke up the same way nearly every day. By his big golden retriever jumping up into his bed and licking his face. He laughed and made the dog move away as he sat up. He took on his glasses and saw that the clock was nearing 9 pm.

He moved over to press a kiss to his boyfriend's cheek. He chuckled when the taller man mumbled something about his dream before slowly opening his dark blue eyes. Without his glasses Patton couldn't see that well but he could still see that his boyfriend was the most beautiful person he'd ever seen.

"Goodmorning Lev" He murmured while snuggling up closer to him.

"G'morning love" He petted the dog so her tail waved "And goodmorning Buster"

They mumbled some sleepy morning talk before deciding to get up. Lev went out to make himself some breakfast. He didn't live in the apartement since it was Patton's but he did sleep over quite a lot. They had been dating for 6 months now after all.

Patton got up and went up to the small whiteboard that was on his wall. On it was written 'Days without a binge: 3'. He erased the 3 and wrote 4 instead. Picani had suggested that keeping track of his progress would make him feel better.

When he went past the mirror he stopped and did fingerguns. For a moment he couldn't help but hate his figure and all the fat but he shook that thought away and plastered on a smile. 
"You look great!" He said to himself before going out into the kitchen.

He made 3 ham and cheese sandwiches for himself, the kind with only one piece of bread. He ate them in less than 10 minutes and immediatly moved to make another. It didn't feel like he was in control of his body in these kind of moments. No matter how much he internally yelled at himself to stop eating his body didn't react.

"Ugh can someone stop me from eating this sandwich" He half asked half muttered while looking at the innocent piece of food.

"You can't eat if you're too busy kissing me" Lev replied while wrapping his strong arms around his boyfriend's shoulders.

He gently turned Patton around and squished his cheeks together before he kissed him which made them both giggle. Lev placed his hands on the other man's hips as the kissing turned into making out.

Out of the corner of his eye Patton noticed that the clock said 10 am and he had therapy at 10:30. "Honeypie I gotta hurry to therapy" He said while smiling into the kiss.

"Okay okay" He took a step back "Reminder that you're doing great and I support you!"

Patton let out a short laugh before continuing on with the rest of his routine. After he'd locked the door to the apartement he kissed Lev once more but goodbye this time.

"I love you!" 

"I love you too" Lev replied before going of to get to his own apartement.

On his way to therapy Patton always picked up Logan since he didn't have a driving license. While he was waiting Lo opened his third coca cola zero for the day. It was 10 am and the soda tasted like chemicals and starvation. He despised the taste but he couldn't let anyone in the therapy group hear his stomach rumbling. Just a few more hours he told himself just like he'd told himself at 10 pm yesterday.

He knew the soda was bad for him, one of the most carcinogenic of all foods/drinks actually. By all means he knew the most logical thing was too simply not drink it and by all means he knew the most logical thing was not to starve himself but fear outweights logic and the fear of losing control was looming over his shoulders like sins weighing down a priest.