when a smile drops [ BrightWin | SarawaTine ]

page #13; part three

i managed to force a smile on my lips when i turned around and look at Drake. he was grinning and i tried my best to keep my feet steady on the floor.

"I-I'm o-okay..." i stuttered and immediately walked away leaving the bunny and Bright on the scene.

tears fell from my eyes as memories flash on my mind. my chest tightens, my heart beats so fast from anxiousness and my stomach flips like i was riding on an extreme roller coaster.

i didn't know where i was going. i let my body take me wherever it wants, without any people around, just me and the pain eating the hope inside me.

i was trying to move on from the past. i was treating my own wounds to eventually heal and forget everything; leave everything as a history but it isn't an easy fight. i keep battling each day. to live. to die with a heart that beats genuine melody.

i thought i was already fine that i stopped touching blades and cutting my skin. i was almost over him. almost.

i was already on the streets under the dark blanket of stars taking a lonely journey. the moon was smiling at me but the smile on my lips dropped on the flesh of the earth, decaying like a rotten body.

i ignored the noise of the night life; the honking cars and the people in a hurry. i was crying and lost. i didn't know where i was. i wanted to run away from the pain i feel, from Drake, from everything that made me what i was today.

but when i think i was already a world apart from them, i was only wrong because the world is too small of a place. we will meet each other and like what happened earlier, everything i left behind will come back. everything that was a memory will live again and haunt my very being.

i continue to bawl and choke between each sobs as i try to chase my breath.

i wiped the tears away with my hands but the tears like a waterfall keeps falling, nonstop, with every bit of painful memories.

i looked up once more to the night sky and the moon with the stars were hiding from me. the clouds started imitating my eyes; shedding raindrops on my quivering body.

it was raining and i let myself get soaked by the rain. i kept my head up. i closed my eyes and waited... waited for a car to bump into me. waited for my death. waited for my ending.

"Win! Win!"

Bright was running under the rain to stop me from killing myself. he was holding the bunny he got on the claw machine. when he reached my spot, he quickly enveloped my body with his embrace.

i flinched and pushed him away.

"Don't touch me!" i yelled at him. i couldn't see his face because of the heavy rain and of the tears blocking my view.

"P-please... get away from me..." i was already on my knees and begging for him to leave me alone.

but he didn't leave. he kneeled down and held my hands.

"Tell me, what's wrong?"

"You wouldn't understand." i said taking my hands from him.

"Then let me understand. Please." he pulled my body and hugged me. i broke down on his arms.

"Drake... was my ex-boyfriend..." i paused, hesitating.

"and he... sexually abused me... like my uncle did to me when i was young..."

Bright let go of the embrace. he reached for my face and kissed me.

i must push him away but i didn't. i let him kiss me under the rain.

"I'm here now, Win... No one would hurt you again."

i did not know what to do. all my life i was fighting a battle alone. now Bright is here with me, under the pouring rain, our lips pressed against each other, my secrets revealed, myself defeated.

i don't know what will happen between us.  i know it is selfish of me to ask for him to stay because i am afraid i will be left alone with the dust again.

i hate my life and Bright was teaching me to love again.

***

[I'm crying! TwT follow me for more and check out my new story! TwT]