when a smile drops [ BrightWin | SarawaTine ]

page #19

3:36 a.m

Bright was shouting on his sleep that it woke me up. he was calling out for his mom. yelling, trying to hold on his breath as he sweats a lot. i held on his hand and gripped on in as tight as i can.

he was having a nightmare and my heart just fell on the floor it made my chest feel empty.

"Hey, Bright, wake up..." i moved my mouth on his ear and softly whispered. he kept yelling and moving around. he accidentally hit my mouth and i immediately felt the blood on my lips.

i began to feel nervous. he wasn't waking up. he was locked on the nightmare and it saddened me to see him suffer. i couldn't stop the tears on my eyes.

i then hugged him. i went on top of him and nestled him on my arms.

"Hey! Please! Bright wake up!"

"M-mom!" he finally woke up and hugged me back. i let him cry on my shoulders. i would always let him use them, today, tomorrow, i would always will.

i reached for his head and ran my fingers on his hair, patting it, rubbing it like i was touching the clouds, trying to comfort him.

"I miss you, Mom..."

"I miss you, too, Bright." i said and he let go of the hug. i wiped the tears on his cheeks with my thumbs and gently smiled on him.

he searched for my mouth and i groaned from the pain i felt.

"I, sorry--" his voice was shaky, still recovering from the crying. he turned the lamp on placed at the side table and saw the reason why i was in pain.

the room was dim with a little light coming from the lampshade. i could see the pain on his eyes and the red just like on my lips.

i would die to lose you, Bright. i want you to survive from all the nightmares you'd battle, for me, for us because i would also do the same every single day. to fight a battle i know i couldn't win at the end. but i'm trying. i will. always.

"You don't have to be sorry if it's about me." i said, holding onto his sweaty hands.

he moved his head towards my direction and put his lips on mine. he kissed me and i couldn't feel the pain anymore. i was feeling him. his love. his sadness. i didn't close my eyes for he would always remind me to open them when we kiss but his eyes were shut and he started to tear up again.

memories.

memories from a dead person.

memories that would kill the alive, emotionally.

he didn't care of the taste of blood and i didn't care of the pain i was in. i let him travel my mouth with his tongue as he stifle and  struggle to stop himself crying.

i broke the kiss and took off my shirt. i kissed him again. this time, with my hands going all over his body.

he did the same.

and just like that, kissing and rolling on the bed, he drifted back to sleep from exhaustion.

we didn't have sex. we just kissed and i let him use, my body for him to forget about the things that made him cry.

i would do everything for you. just to be with you. if it needs my life, i wouldn't hesitate to die for you, Bright.

***
[hey, i changed my username. i'll be active again, i guess...]