when a smile drops [ BrightWin | SarawaTine ]

page #17

1:29 a.m

it's been a long time. i am here again writing on this notebook given to me by my therapist.

when you don't have anyone to talk with the most saddest moments in your life or just memories you wish you could talk or never talk anymore, just grab a pen and write. a notebook, a diary is a friend that won't judge you.

it's been a month since the last time i wrote my entry. it was when Bright's mom died. a lot of things happened. it would take a lot of hours for me to tell you everything but as of today i am glad to see the one i love finally moving on, slowly, gently like the way he puts his lips on mine.

i stay with him on their big white house. we never talked if we are officially in a relationship. we just kiss and hug and cuddle by the cold night.

but deep down my beating heart, i am waiting for him to ask me to go out as boyfriends. i want a label. i want something i could be proud of.

i never asked him what he felt about me but the last time he said i love you, too was by the beach and the only witness we had was the moon and stars that i wish captured the moment.

we never crossed another line. we haven't had sex and i can't have sex with someone who doesn't share the mutual feeling.

maybe he was just impulsive and confused or perhaps he felt obliged to answer me back then because i comforted him.

we go to school together. we eat together. we shower together. we smile and laugh together. we are side by side like partners in crime but i am afraid i am the only one feeling in love.

i should wait.

i must wait for him.

i will be patient.

but i can't deny i can't wait for the day you will eventually tell me how you really feel about me, Bright.

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