when a smile drops [ BrightWin | SarawaTine ]

page #03

2:42 a.m

i couldn't sleep. i had too much coffee and my body is weary enough to get thrown on the bed but my mind is fueled with caffeine.

besides the coffee, there is another thing that keeps me awake.

my heart.

it would beat so fast whenever my phone vibrates.

today, Bright asked for my line id. i wasn't really going to give it to him but he was being so annoying. he said he would shout in the canteen how cute i am. i would feel that weird heat crawling on my neck again, up to the sides of my cheeks.

eventually i gave him my id and he would send a message to me like:

bright:
hey, did u go home safe?

bright:
yo bunny please respond!

win:
who are you calling bunny?

and we exchanged messages for about an hour. he said i look like a bunny and i told him he looked like a wolf. i even joked, to get close to him is not good because he is a dangerous wolf.

i won't deny it. fine.

i think we are getting closer to each other.

i am just afraid to open my door again. to let people come in my life. i am scared of the history repeats itself like the hearts that loved and was torn into pieces; they love anew and get broken by the people they cherished so much.

i am scared that Bright might come in and leave when he is done to me.

my skin is already scarred. the blood on my fresh cuts are drying and when i drown my hand in a pool of water, i would feel a slight pang on my wrist and i continue soaking it wet because the pain was a drug.

it was very addictive that i keep doing it and i am glad i am still a human. i still feel pain like others do. if i don't anymore, i am glad of the time i spent in the earth.

2:52 a.m

Bright called me. i was so shocked i panicked when i clicked the answer button.

i asked him why did he call me at this time. it's almost 3 in the morning. i heard him chuckle over the phone.

"I am just making sure you answer the call." he said.

"Why?"

"To know you are still here."

And there was silence. The AC on my room creates this weird noise and there was also a weird noise on my chest. my heart was beating, out of its normal state. i could hear him breathe and his voice so close on my ear makes me nervous.

"And it makes me smile you answer the call." he added and ended the call.

i don't know what he is up to.

i didn't realize the growing smile on my lips.

i will sleep today repeating the words he said all over my head.

"And it makes me smile you answer the call."

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