when a smile drops [ BrightWin | SarawaTine ]

page #14

12:17 a.m

a week passed by in a blink of an eye. Bright and i never talked about the incident that happened on the rain; the day we had our first date and our first kiss.

he never asked me about my past and i was getting a bit worried. i was thinking he doesn't want to talk about it because perhaps he's disgusted.

we were under the shade of the tree; my favorite spot. he was scribbling on a piece of paper. i rested my head on his shoulder and watched him get taken aback by my sudden demeanor.

he smiled at me and touched the tip of my nose with his pen.

"So you can be sweet." he giggled, still scribbling on the paper.

"About last time---" he cut me off by crumpling the paper and throwing it away.

he stood up and stretched his body.

"Let's go grab some food on the cafeteria." he picked up his bag on the grass and walked away.

there was a slight pang on my chest like a pinch on the skin that hurts or a paper cut you got from reading a book. you know it isn't a big wound but it hurts deep within. i heaved a long sigh brushing off the emotion i feel.

i was behind him staring at his broad shoulders, looking at how his hair bounces each step he takes and letting myself get drunk on his scent. i was confused by the smile on my lips and the lingering pain on my heart.

he used to walk beside me, guiding me like i was a patient he needs to take care of but when i try to open up the past, my past, he keeps shoving it away; leaving me from the back.

i am afraid you'll turn your back from me but i want you to know the truth and my story, Bright. i want to be true to you but i am scared you might leave me. i want to know what words you might say or actions you might do when you finally know the whole story of my life.

i want to keep walking beside you, hand in hand, sharing the same laughter as we continue to fight in this trying world.

i want to live for you.
i want to die for you.

i am giving you my heart. so, please, hold onto it and hide it on your safe place.

i will reveal everything that was my history. i will be an open book.

so, please, Bright, read me.

***