The Birdcage

What's It Like To Die?

Warning: You've probably realised by now to expect dark themes throughout this book anyway, however I feel this one has an exceptionally dark tone. Contains strong discussion of death, suicide and murder.

"No." Perry said flatly from their guard post at the door; sending the curious onlooker scurrying away down the hall. Wanting some privacy, they'd taken over one of the common rooms, which were usually fairly empty this early in the day, and we're now keeping everybody out to give them some space; which they were not technically supposed to do, but nobody had come to stop them.

"... And, like, I knew she was having problems, but I didn't know it was this bad!" Katherine sobbed, taking the tissue Nyx offered. They were sitting together on a couch; Nyx a respectful distance from the distraught woman who was crumpled at the other end of the sofa, weeping into her hands.
Ronnie stood by Nyx's armrest, the opposite end to Katherine; looking in bewilderment at sight of the girl she used to trade aggressive barbs with, now broken down and crying in front of her.

"Yeah, I know." Nyx said sympathetically, placing a comforting hand on Katherine's forearm. "It's okay. Just let it all out-"

"-Do you know what happened?" Ronnie blurted out suddenly, asking Katherine.

"Ronnie!" Perry snapped. "Not the time!"

"She didn't kill herself." Katherine said firmly; arms crossed protectively across her chest as tears glimmered in her eyes. On the chair beside her, her tail twitched agitatedly. "She may have been depressed, but she didn't kill herself! She wouldn't! She wouldn't leave me!" A new wave of tears flooded forwards, and she crumbled; collapsing against Nyx who comfortingly put her arms around her as she sobbed into her shoulder.

"It's okay. We believe you."

***

"What do you think it's like to die?"

"Ronnie!"

"What? I'm allowed to ask."

After the situation with Katherine, they'd listlessly drifted back towards the sleeping quarters and had washed up in Ronnie's room; the two girls laying top-to-tail on Ronnie's bed whilst Perry sat cross-legged on the floor. Nyx was staring distractedly at Ronnie's window; where an obscenely large spider was in the process of spinning itself a home in front of the glass. It was fascinating; the small creature was completely undisturbed by their presence, no clue of the events going on around it. Lucky thing.

"So... What do you think it's like to die?" And there it was again; the question Nyx really didn't like. "Do you think it's scary?"

"I don't know, Ronnie." Perry groaned. "Maybe you go to heaven or something. You're the mythology expert."

"No, I'm not talking about after you die. I mean when you die; in that moment. What's that like?"

"It's cold." Nyx said quietly, face turned away from them, staring unblinkingly at the wall. "And lonely."

"... What?"

Nyx realised she was shaking as a sudden wave of emotion washed over her, stronger than she'd anticipated; forcing herself to appear calm, she sat upright. "Death sucks; stay alive, it's more fun."

"Whoa, wait, what?" Both Ronnie and Perry leapt to sit her back down as she began to rise, wobbling on her feet.

"You're trembling." Perry commented in concerned.

"Did something happen?" Ronnie exclaimed incredulously, alerted to something in Nyx's tone.

"There... was something." Nyx said, a tremble creeping into her voice. "I mean... I'm not dead, obviously..."

Ronnie's hands flew to her mouth with a gasp as she caught what Nyx meant. "Oh! What happened?"

"I don't know." Nyx whispered. "Is it murder if you're not dead?"

***

"-So you were attacked and stabbed; but then you were resurrected from the dead and you don't know how?" Ronnie asked, almost in disbelief at the story. "And you know who did it?"

"I didn't believe it at first." Nyx said. "But now I'm convinced. But... I acted irrationally when I first discovered it, and lashed out. That's how I wound up here."

"Wow." Perry breathed. "How'd you find out?"

Nyx sniffed, swiping away an escaping tear. She was not going to cry. "I found the murder weapon in the possession of someone I knew. I was confused at first; I thought it was some kind of... misunderstanding. But then, when I touched it... I had a vision."

"A vision?" Perry exclaimed. "Of your own murder?!" Nyx nodded in confirmation. "That must have been awful!"

"You can have visions?" Ronnie questioned almost at the same time.

"Of the past." Nyx specified.

"That's... Kinda awesome." Ronnie admitted. "What's it like? What kind of things can you see? Have you had any whilst you're here?"

"One." Nyx replied. "I can't really control when they happen at the moment, they just... happen. Don't tell anyone, I don't want everyone to know yet. I'm still getting used to it."

"Of course" Ronnie said; then continued, intrigued. "What did you see?"

"A woman... falling to her death." Nyx dropped her eyes from her friends gaze, feeling awkward. "It's why I was asking you if anyone had jumped out a window the other day."

"Oh wow." Ronnie said, straightening up in her seat. "I wonder who she is- I really don't know of anyone who jumped out a window."

"Well, aren't you a bundle of surprises, Miss L'Ange." Perry teased Nyx, trying to lighten the mood. "Now, enough of this morbid stuff. Let's do something fun."