Sting :||: Michael Clifford

I don't really care how bad it hurts

Carly's POV

After I woke up from that dream, I couldn't go back to sleep. I wasn't sure exactly what to do because there's no one I can really talk to about this. If I bring up the fact I'm thinking about Michael to anyone, I'll just make things worse so the only thing I can do is try and distract myself from him. I start going on my phone and looking through pictures on my phone. I was almost certain I had deleted every photo of Micheal, but I must have missed a few. I stare at the screen and look at the girl who once used to wear a smile everyday because I was with the man I thought I would spend forever with. I feel tears starting to form in my eyes and soon fall down my face. I hate that I'm feeling like this again and I'm not even sure why. I can't tell if it's because I'm about to graduate high school without him by my side, or if we slept together and it resurfaced all of my feelings for him. I decide to turn on some music and just sit in my room. I know I should be getting a good nights rest, but I can't, not after everything that's happened. I look out my window and see the sun slowly starting to rise. I feel tired, but every time I shut my eyes, he comes back to mind. I guess the real solution here is to just not sleep. I get up out of bed and start to get dressed. I also look around my room for the ring he gave me because it's not right tho keep something that valuable. I know that it's around 6:30, but I don't really care. I make sure to grab my phone and my wallet so I can go to a gas station and get some energy drinks as well. I walk out of my room and down the stairs, making sure I'm not too loud. I walk over to the key hook and grab my car keys. I walk outside and into my car. I'm hardly ever awake this early in the morning, but somethings change I guess. I get into the car and start it. I pull out of the driveway and make the short trip to the gas station. When I walk in the lady behind the counter smiles at me, but I just walk to the back where the drinks and everything are. I find the energy drinks and grab four. I walk over to the counter and set them all down. 

"Must've had a rough night?" She asks. 

"Just couldn't sleep." 

"Your total is 14.60." I slightly smile as I hand her my card. I got it when I was 16, when I got my first ever job that I eventually quit. She rings me up and I soon walk out of the store with the most energy drinks I've ever had. I get into my car and open one up and start to drink it. Michael was the one to introduce them to me during year 11 because let's face it, year 11's never sleep. After that, I head to Michael's house. I get out of the car, making sure that I have the ring on me. I can't believe that after all this time, I forgot that I had it. I walk up to the front door and lightly knock on it, regret filling my body almost right after. I step back and go to walk away, but then the door opens revealing a very tired looking Michael. 

"Carly?" He asks, his voice low and groggy.

"S-sorry. I didn't mean to wake you, I just-" He walks outside and carefully shuts the door behind him.

"No, it's okay. What's up?" 

"I-I just came here to give you this." I say as I hold the little black box in front of me. I see him look down and his hand carefully reaches out for it. He takes it from my hand and just stares at it for awhile, not saying anything. "I-I should go." I turn around and walk back to my car. Once I get in, I see Michael standing in the same position. It seems as though he's trying to remember the day he gave it to me, but he just can't. I want nothing more than to go back, but I know that if I do, I'll never move on. I put my seat belt on and start the car.  After I get home, I see my mom walking down the stairs. 

"Oh hey sweetheart. Where did you go?" 

"I just went up to the gas station. I needed some caffeine." I say as I take another drink of my almost empty drink. 

"Oh well I was just about to make some break fast, do you want any?"

"Uh no I'm fine. I'm going to go up to my room and wait for Calum to wake up."

"Did you two work things out?" 

"Yeah we did. I'm really happy that we could." I smile and walk up the stairs. When I get into my room, I see my phone lit up on my nightstand. I set the bag of energy drinks on my bed and walk over to it, seeing Cal's name appearing on the screen. I quickly press answer and hear him talk.

"Hey Car, can I come over? I know it's super early, but I want to spend the day with you."

"I'd like that a lot."

"I can't wait for tonight."

"Me either. I'll see you soon." I hang up the phone and flop down on my bed. I feel as though nothing will ever truly make me move on. A piece of me will always love Michael and I wish that wasn't the case. I wish I could just forget what we had and move on with my life. At least then, I could finally be happy.