Sting :||: Michael Clifford

I just want the life we had

Carly's POV

After my breakdown with Cal, he ended up staying with me for a few hours. Now I'm getting ready to leave for graduation. I've never been more exited and scared in my life. I drive myslef to the school and park in the student parking. My mom had a shift, but she said she'll be here in time. I get out of my car and walk inside the building. I find my cap and gown and quickly put it on. I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn around to see Luke standing there with a huge grin on his face. We hug and afterward, we go to somewhere private so why can catch up a little bit. I haven't really talking to him since they got back, but now seems like a good time.

"So, it's been awhile. How is everything?"

"It could be better, but for now, it's good." His eyebrows furrow.

"What do you mean?" He asks. I look down and start to play with my fingers. "Car, you can talk to me. I know we aren't as close as we used to be, but I'm still always going to be here for you." I smile and look up at him.

"Thanks Luke." I say with a smile. "It's just, lately I've been dreaming about the crash. I haven't done that in a really long time and it's just messing with me. I feel like I'm going through the loss all over again. I know that I'm suposed to be happy because I have a great guy, I got into my dream school, and I made it through twelve years of school, but I can't seem to get over the past."

"Some times it's hard to let go of the things we got so used to. You and Michael were together for almost four years and you got used to him. You got used to the way he made you feel, the way he loved you, and the way he treated you. It's hard to let a love like that go."

"It really is. He was the most important person in my life and in an instant, he was gone. Some times I like to pretend he's dead because it makes things easier for me. If he had died that day, then yeah I'd be really depressed, but at least I know there's no chance of him coming back. With him forgetting me, there's a chance that, one day, he'll remember. I keep waiting for that day to come and it hasn't. He's built this life with Rose and I built a life with Calum and all I can think about is him. It makes me feel so guilty, but it also makes me feel so alone."

"You aren't alone Car. No matter what happens, I will always be by your side. You've pulled me out of the dark so many times and the least I can do for you is be right here and try and help."

"Thanks Luke. This has all just been buried inside for awhile now and it really helps to talk to someone about it because god knows I can't talk to anyone else about it."

"Hey," he says as he bumps my shoulder, "you're stronger than you think. You can get through anything." I lightly laugh. Even in awful situations, Luke always finds a way to light up the room. After we get done talking, I check the time and see that our ceremony starts in about fifteen minutes. I go to nearest bathroom to fix my makeup and I didn't realize I walked into the gender neutral bathroom until I see Michael walk in through the reflection in the mirror. I turn around and I see the look on his face.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"You know when you handed me that ring? I just- I wanna why."

"What do you mean why? We broke up Mike, there was no reason for me to have that thing anymore."

"We broke up?" I feel my heart drop and I stare at him wide eyed.

"You remember."