Sting :||: Michael Clifford

In a war that can't be won

Calum's POV

After I get off the phone off Carly I quickly make my way to my car and get in. I'm so exited for today because I have a big surprise planned for tonight. After we graduate, we're going to all go to dinner and that's when she's going to see the surprise. I drive to her house and when I get there, I knock on the door. Her mom answers and lets me in. I go up to Carly's room and when I open the door, I see her downing a can of Monster. I shut the door and give her a concerned look. 

"Oh, hey Calum. When did-"

"Are you okay? I've never seen you drink one of those and you always got pissed when you saw Michael drinking them." I say as I sit down on her bed. 

"I'm fine. I just didn't sleep all that much last night."

"What was keeping you up?" I ask as I take the drink out of her hand and set it down on her night stand. 

"Just a bad dream, that's all."

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"I-I don't really remember it, so there's nothing to talk about." 

"Are you sure? It really seemed to shake you up considering you're drinking the think you hate."

"People can change Cal, trust me."

"I have a feeling you remember that dream." 

"And so what if I did." She says as she stands up. I turn to face her and see her run her hands through her hair. 

"Carly, what's going on with you? You're acting really weird and I'm worried."

"I'm just tired and nervous okay."

"Well you can sleep if you want to I-"

"I couldn't sleep even if I wanted to. I drank two of those things and I feel my whole body shaking right now."

"Just lay down and try to relax." I hold out my hand and she takes it. She walks over to the bed and I move so I'm in a more comfortable position. She gets on the bed and lays her head on my lap. I start to stroke her hair and see that she's soon asleep.I take out my phone and start to scroll on Instagram as I still stroke her hair. I'm happy to do this for her because I know that she needs it. A few hours go by and she's still asleep, but I don't mind. I start to feel her twitch and then her body flings forward and she starts breathing really heavily. I pull her into a tight hug and she starts crying. "Shh, it's okay. It was just a dream. You'll be okay." She pulls away from me and turns to face me. 

"It wasn't just a dream Cal." She takes in a deep breath before continuing. "I keep thinking about the crash. Every time I close my eyes and fall asleep, I think more and more about what happened that day and I don't know why. It happened nine months ago and I-"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I didn't want to bother you with it. I've put you through enough and this is just-"

"Nothing you say will make me feel any different about you. I understand, you loved him and you're still not over it and that crash was traumatic. I understand Carly." She gets up and so do I

"But you don't because if you did, then you would know how this feels. I thought I was over him and I thought that I was done thinking about that day, but then I slept with him and everything came back. There was a point where I couldn't sleep because I would do nothing but dream about the crash and I couldn't eat because I didn't have the energy to. You don't understand that." 

"You're right, I don't, but you can't keep all of this inside Car because this will just keep happening. You'll think that you're okay and that you're happy, but then something will change that and you'll be right back here." She puts her hand over her mouth and start to cry again. Then she takes it away and looks at me.

"I don't know what's happening to me." I pull her into a tight hug and rest my chin on her head. I slowly start to rock back and forth because I know that calms her down. She soon stops crying and pulls away from me. 

"Nothing is wrong with you, I promise."