From Russia With Loathing

Part 2

"You can do this. You got this. Just breath and ... and ... " and I have no idea. Yeah, this didn't help at all. Do people really give themselves pep talks in the mirror? Or is that just one of those stupid make up only in the movies things?

"You're gonna be fine Anna," Audrey tells me in her calm, big sister type, voice. I'm standing infant of our bathroom mirror getting ready while she keeps me company by lounging in our empty bathtub. This is how we spent most of our college years. Except in those situation the one having the nervous breakdown or panic attack was usually the one in the old clawfoot tub, and the other one was sitting on the bathroom countertop giving the wise words or encouragement and counsel.  

I was having dinner with my father tonight.

Nervous would be an understatement. I have been jittery all day. I still couldn't get my hands to stop shaking. 

Its not like I haven't seen my father lately. We have dinner once a month. That was part of agreement when I got my inheritance on my 18th birthday. I would receive access to my inheritance on the condition that I would have dinner with my father once a month. I had only used the money to pay for college. My rent, clothes, and trips with Audrey were all paid for with the money I got from the part time jobs and internships I had gotten over the years. 

Tonight was the night I was going to tell my father that I was leaving. Leaving him and my family behind. 

Tonight was also different because usually when I had dinner with my father we would go to the same little restaurant. The restaurant was in Brooklynn, close to Pratt and where I had grown up. But tonight my father wanted to have dinner at his house. 

I couldn't shake the feeling something was about to happen. 

"Do you think he knows?" I ask Audrey in the mirror.

"Fuck no. The man has power, but not that much power." she reassures me and I let out the breath I had been holding. "Don't get yourself worked up. And honestly if that man knew anything don't you think he would have killed Rob, or burnt something down, or had done what ever the Russian mafia does?" 

I turn my head and give her a shut the fuck up side glance and then roll my eyes. "Not exactly helping, but thanks." Part of me knew she was right. He's not going to be happy. At least this way I can tell him myself and he would find anything out from one of his little minions. 

I put the finishing touches on my face and nitpick at my hair and outfit. I had gone to the salon earlier and got it cut and had a blowout. My naturally honey blonde hair was as straight as a pin and stopped halfway down my back. I wanted to look mature and grown up tonight so my father didn't look at me like a child. I had also gone out and gotten a new dress, a navy blue wrap dress that hung just below my knees. It was a low V cut but the light curls in my hair helped cover up my cleavage.I had to borrow a pair of heals from Audrey. Her show collection rivaled Sarah Jessica Parker's and Imelda Marcos's shoe collections. They were a bit higher then I liked but they were the same color as my dress and made the whole outfit look classy as fuck. 

"Okay," I say and let out another deep breath. "I'm ready to do this." I said as I did a 180 and showed Audrey the finished look.

"You got this girl!" she says, and gets out out of the tub to give me a hug. "Seriously, just stand your ground and tell him. If he freaks out and starts yelling, you just yell back. Don't let him change your mind or bully you into anything that you don't want. It's your life god damn it!"

"Thanks. I don't know what I'm going to do without you. I love you." My eyes start to tear up.

"Quite, I'm not helping you fix your mascara. And I'm not going anywhere. We live in the fucking future. You can still talk to me and see me through FaceTime when ever you want. It's only five and a half hour on a plane." She says and hugs me again. "Now go or you will miss the subway and be late." I turn to leave and she smacks me on the butt. "Damn girl, maybe you will meet a hot guy on the subway. Your ass looks amazing!"