The One That Got Away (GIRLXGIRL)

Chapter Thirty-seven

Belle's POV

As soon as my bike stopped I rode off it, taking off my helmet and securing it on the bike handles. The breeze kissed my cheeks, it was windy but not that cold. I unzipped my biker jacket and let it hang loose on my body. Looking around, I felt a number of emotions kick me down. This was the same graveyard that I first met the love of my life at, now it was the same graveyard that the love of my life was buried at. I inhaled deeply and held back the tears that were threatening to spill. I had to try to be strong, I had to have some courage to approach her and pour out what my heart was bleeding. I started to walk to where they'd buried her, every step made my heart ache, every step reminded me that I was in a graveyard and that she was gone. I kept walking till I saw her grave, I paused for a slight second then took the last few strides that brought me infront of her grave.

SAMANTHA LUNA JOHNSON

Born: January 12 1995
Died: November 16 2019

She walked among others with grace and love. She denied no one affection and she cherished everyone for all the days of her life. God has taken her, and she will be greatly missed for she was unconditionally loved.

I painfully read her gravestone. Surely she loved without conditions but that didn't do much since my selfish, cold heart froze hers and watched her die.

"I'm disappointed at myself," I croaked, suddenly my tears decided to break free, "I did this to you, I hate that I get to live whilst you are six feet under, dead never to wake again. These past few days I've been contemplating on whether to end my life or not, selfishly, I can't. Why did God take you? Why did you give up? I know it was me, you couldn't come back only to be torn apart again. I fucked up Samantha, I fucked up and I can't do shit about it."

"...what do I have to cherish, memories? I have to get used to it, the fact that I won't see you again," I laughed like a caged lunatic, "How do I live with that? How do I live without you? Waking up to an empty bed, having to remember you only through pictures and memories. I don't get to touch you, I don't get to hug you, I don't get to wipe away your tears or laugh at how silly you are sometimes. What tortures me most is that I won't ever hear your voice again, it'll be a distant memory. I won't hear you speak, you're gone...forever and I don't blame you for that. Trust me I don't."

"...I don't know whether you'll consider it running away, cowardice, heartlessness or whatever but, I'm leaving Sam. I'm going back home, I'm going back to Grandpa. Frankly, I feel like there's so much I have to fix; and it all starts back home. I shouldn't have left like that. I hope you know that I love you so much, you're my soulmate Samantha. You're my world, my everything and I'll always love you. Remember that. Your last kiss will be engraved in my heart for eternity, I'm going but I'm not letting you go. I'll come visit every single time that I get a chance to. Goodbye my love, your heart is with mine, just as mine is with yours."

"So you're just gonna leave?"

I froze when I heard her voice, it was hoarse, sounding as if she had been crying non-stop for many days. I turned to see her and there she was, glaring at me.

"Apparently."

I'm pretty sure I sounded like a coldhearted bitch. Her eyes met mine and she chuckled painfully.

"Apparently? You're just going to leave after all the shit that you put me through, you don't think I deserve a goodbye or something decent?"