The One That Got Away (GIRLXGIRL)

Chapter Fifteen

Belle's POV

Her voice breaking through my walls. Her expression when she heard the words that came out of my mouth. The confusion I felt. It all hit me at once. What was she doing here? What was going on?

There's a moment in life where you find yourself being at the centre of everything, could be because you did something good or something terrible. And this moment I was standing, frozen and I couldn't hide. I knew what I did was horrible, totally horrible. I turned around to see her expressionless face, emotionless and motionless, as if she wasn't even with us anymore.

What was I to say? Why had I said what I said? Was this the moment that I had to choose between her and Samantha? What was I even thinking?

"Jaycey listen to me please," I tried to plead with her, "Jaycey it's not what it is, I mean it is but it's not, it's...," I paused, sensing that she wasn't even listening to most of the words that came out of my mouth. She had put me on mute.

"There's nothing that you can say to change what has already been said Belle," she voiced out after keeping quiet for the most excruciating short seconds I've ever waited in my life, "And there's nothing that I can say that can actually change how disgusted I am right now."

"You don't get it, I still love you. I love you," I spoke, making sure I emphasised how I felt about her but she didn't let it in.

"You repulse me. I wish I never met you. I regret falling for you Isabelle Anderson, I so fuckin' regret it! I never want to see you again," she shouted, turning her back and heading to the door and just like that she disappeared.

I stood there like a statue for a second before everything digested in my brain. She couldn't leave, not like this so I had to run after her. I had to fix what I had broken.

"I'm sorry Samantha I have to fix this," I turned away not even glancing at her, running after Jaycey. As soon as I saw my car I jumped inside and sped off in pursuit of her. Samantha was going to hate me for this but it was the right thing to do or so I thought. I couldn't let Jaycey go without letting her understand everything.

What was there to understand though?

No, she had to know that every word I said to her when we were together was true. All my feelings and emotions were pure. I had to make her understand that I do love her but I was just caught up in my own head.

The rain had already started pouring and it was misty outside. I couldn't see anything but I couldn't stop chasing after her either. I was afraid. I was scared that something horrible might happen. There's no doubt in my mind that Jaycey was crying in her car and not concentrating on the road. I was going to hate myself if anything were to happen to her because of me. Speaking of me, I didn't deserve her forgiveness. Especially not after this. What if she got hurt? What if she got involved in a car crash due to her reckless driving? I would hate myself for the rest of my living days.

I realised that there seemed to be no more cars on the road and I wondered where the hell I was. I could spot Jaycey's car due to my headlights and she was really driving fast. Where was she going? I hadn't been here and I was assuming she had been, considering, that she had been at Samantha's parent's house. I wondered why but then this wasn't the time to wonder about such. I just had to catch up to her. Picking up my phone, I tried dialling her number and sighed with relief when her phone rang. She didn't pick it up and my heart broke. After trying more than twice I decided to stop, it was either she wasn't picking up or she couldn't hear it ringing.

Just a few minutes later I saw her quickly swerve off the road and because I was too concentrated on her car, I didn't realise what was going on. That's when it happened. A horn blaring, the screeching of tires, a sickening crunch of metal on metal, bright lights piercing my eyes, a loud bang and my car being pushed back by a very huge truck causing it to spin out of control. It happened so fast that my mind went blank and it took a full minute before it hit me. I was being dragged off the road by the truck and by the look of things this was turning out ugly.

"This can't be happening," I thought to myself, "I can't die like this."

My car rolled backwards and off of the road, luckily, I had my seat belt on so I was stuck on my seat. Some pieces of my windshield glass scratched some parts of my body and the pain was unbearable. After a life time of rolling and feeling dizzy the car finally hit something hard. I was moved by a very forceful force that my whole body flung away where it was and my head hit the steering wheel so hard whilst my body slumped over and outside the vehicle. Everything became a blur before I could even comprehend anything.

"What's there to live for anyways?" my conscience spoke and I intently listened, feeling myself float in a comforting cloud

"You repulse me. I wish I never met you. I regret falling for you Isabelle Anderson, I so fuckin' regret it! I never want to see you again."

"Nobody wants you anymore. You're selfish and heartless so why not die and let others breathe peacefully without your presence," my conscience continued, "You hurt everyone Belle. They love you but you hurt them. What's there to live for when they don't want to set sight on you ever again?"

"Are you happy now, does it make you happy that I'm broken. I love you so much Isabelle but I can't do this anymore. You're so inconsiderate about other people's feelings, my feelings...and I thought you cared."

"See what I'm talking about, Samantha hates you," my conscience laughed and I felt a sting in my heart, "There's only one way out, death."

I heard a loud bang, the smell of fire filling my nostrils. The cloud I was floating in turned dark, promising a storm. The sting in my heart worsened. I tried to get up but I was stuck. I screamed but I couldn't hear my own voice. It rained heavier with lightning and thunder making a show. I felt the cloud eat me up and as much as I wanted to run away I couldn't. I knew I was going to die. There was no way out. What was there to live for? There was so much to live for. I had to live for Jaycey, try to fix what I had broken; I had to live for Samantha, I couldn't leave her in that state of hurt. I couldn't die, that would mean I was a coward. I couldn't just die, I had to fight. I hurt them so much and it hurt me too. What type of a monster had I evolved to? I couldn't just leave, so I fought to stay.