The One That Got Away (GIRLXGIRL)

Chapter Thirty-four

Sam's POV

"Samantha! Help! Fuckin' call 911! Samantha!"

Suddenly I heard Belle's voice, and just as I heard it everything became clear to me; I started to feel both the physical and the emotional pain. My eyes were still blurry and blood was trickling from my forehead to my face. I wanted to wipe it away from my eyes but my hands were numb. Belle took me in her arms, I knew it was her because of her scent. Her warm hands fell on my skin. I was trembling, scared of what could be, scared that if this was the end then it's not how I had pictured it.

"Samantha open your eyes," Belle cried, her voice was a distant strain, "Don't do this to me please."

"Isabelle let's put her in the damn car she's losing a lot of blood," I could make out Lucy's panicking and broken voice. It broke me that the promise that I made to her could be broken if ever I closed my eyes and allowed death to reign.

I don't know how but I felt like I had been lifted from the ground and into the car. Belle still had me in her arms, and I could make out her voice telling me to fight, telling me to stay awake, telling me she loves me. And as much as I tried to speak, the only thing that happened was me coughing up blood. And feeling as if my heart was being grinded.

I could see my life flashing in my eyes. If I had to make a wish right now, would I wish to stay alive. Would I wish to continue living this life. What was the difference between life and death to me at the moment, could it be that if I lived I would still be blessed with seeing Belle and that dying would cut me out of this earth and I would never see her again. Was I supposed to die or live? I wanted to live, maybe just for some time, maybe talk things through with her; but I also wanted to die, because I was tired of my life, what was I to live for. All I sought for was a chance to say my last words to Belle, to Lucy, to my sister...

"B,belle," I choked on my own blood as I tried by all means to speak. The pain I felt was crippling, every bone in my body felt like it was being grinded. It hurt. It really hurt.

"I'm sorry Samantha," Belle's tears fell on me. How could I see that her pain was genuine now that my life was fading away.

"Stay alive please," and Lucy, behind her eyes I saw the love. I saw the affliction she was trying to bear seeing me like this. But there was nothing I could do or say. My eyes were closing again, I felt sleepy, I just wanted to fall into a deep slumber, so I slowly closed my eyes...

What was it worth? Why didn't I just let go of Belle, would I have been able to? I had wishes. I wished I would have built my relationship with Jaycey, we could have been the greatest of sisters. I wished I had visited my dad, now I would die without seeing his face. I wish I had forgiven my stepmother, but I didn't because I focused so much on my own hurt. I wish I was inlove with Lucy maybe that way I wouldn't be where I was. I wished I could have a second chance to live this life, start afresh and craft the dents that made my life not worth living. I wished my wishes could come true.

"Samantha open your eyes, don't sleep baby we're here,'' even if I wanted to listen to what Belle was saying, her voice sounded like a lullaby and I couldn't help but feel forced to close my eyes.

"Doctor! Nurse! Help!"

I felt myself being carried away from the car. Whatever was about to happen next was unknown. But I didn't want to die without speaking to Belle, regardless of the fact that I was angry earlier on; I wanted to speak to her now. I wanted to see her, touch her, feel her...but all of that seemed impossible now. I closed my eyes as I was carried by what I assume were the doctors and nurses. I closed my eyes and everything faded, everything stopped and somehow I felt like this was the end.