The One That Got Away (GIRLXGIRL)

Chapter Twelve

Belle's POV

I sunk into her whole body, holding her closer to me by the second. Both our heartbeats fought for the position of lead singer but none won as both of them were beating out both our chests. A melancholic atmosphere swirled around us, being accompanied by a whirlwind of broken hearts and hurt souls. I knew I had done wrong by her and I deeply regretted it.

"I'm sorry," we spoke in unison. I slowly pulled her away from my body so I could look into her eyes. The pain she was going through was undeniably present there.

"No, I'm the one who should be sorry. Samantha I...," I sighed, trying to find the right words, "This is not the way our love story should go. I'm not supposed to hurt you like this. I'm not supposed to belong to anybody else and you're not supposed to either. You and I are meant to be, forever, and I'm sorry that I'm acting stupid. I love you so much. I never want to lose you."

"Who is she?" she spoke, her eyes boreing into mine with so much intensity that I stepped back and looked aside. I couldn't tell her it was Jaycey. There was just so much that I had done and she was so broken because of me, I couldn't hurt her anymore.

"She's no one, you don't know her," I spilled out raw lies. The truth was going to tear her apart.

"Why?" her voice broke, "Why did you do it?"

"Because I hate that you have a thing with Lucy."

"That's ---"

"In the past, I know but fuck I can't get it out of my head. She's my cousin Sam so it hurts."

"Belle ---"

"She doesn't deserve you," I cut her. She snickered, making an attempt to wipe off her tears but that was futile

"She says the same thing about you."

I rolled my eyes, "I don't care what she says, you shouldn't too. Samantha I understand that I did a lot of shit to you back then so I can't necessarily blame you for doing the same to me but we have got to move on. Let go of my cousin."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I went for your cousin, I love her too Belle."

That hurt like a bitch. A total slap in the face but I swallowed whatever retort I had because I was the one who had wronged her first and she deserved better. Maybe if I treated her like how I was supposed to, she wouldn't have found Lucy better. But, I loved Jaycey too. God, the time I had spent with her was beyond this world. The real question though was, what exactly did I want?

"I want to fix us."

She took in a deep breath. Taking in the words I had just uttered. I was being honest. I did want to fix us, but, not at the expense of Jaycey's feelings.

"I'm gonna go with you to meet your parents," I half smiled, wholeheartedly regretting what I had just said.

Her eyes lit up and she suddenly came forward and grabbed me, pulling me into a tight hug. I hugged her back. We stood there holding each other for a while before I pulled back a little and tilted her chin up so she could stare in my eyes. She looked relieved, less hurt and I was happy, so happy that I placed my lips on hers. She immediately responded, kissing me back slowly and I tasted her salty tears. Her lips were warm, perfectly fitting with mine and giving me the heat I desired. Her kiss went from calculated to intense and when I was melting into her, she stopped and pulled away from me.

"Thanks," she whispered, "I know you don't like my parents but it means a lot for you to agree to this. So thank you so much."

I held her again, pulling her closer to me. A few months ago I remember saying our hugs felt cold. That was also around the same time I met Jaycey at the diner. So much had happened, my life could easily be a book by now. I couldn't believe how much secrets I had buried in my heart. And I knew that one day there would probably spill out and be revealed but I felt it was better to wait for that day instead of telling the truth now. I was a coward and I knew that.

Truth is, there's something that you don't know, the reason why I say I hate Samantha's stepmother. And, I could feel that something huge and unpleasant was about to happen. I could sense that maybe I might have been holding Samantha for the last time. And what hurt was that we were both hurt people. We were both fucked up. The only difference is that unlike the last time, I now felt her warmness radiating to me through our hugs. Yes, we were both hurt but we were perfect together. I didn't want to lose her, I didn't want to feel empty without her in my life. But again, there was something that was bugging me.

My regrets. I had so many of them but I couldn't undo what I had done in the past. They say the past is the past but I knew that my past wasn't going anywhere. Going to Sam's parent's house was taking a step back and knocking on my past's door. I guess you can never run away from the truth, I was about to face the consequences of my mistakes. After all, everybody does.

"Wanna go take a nap," I asked, tired from standing. She gave me a weak smile and a nod. We both made our way to the bedroom, where we lay curled to each other and for the first time in forever I had felt my connection with her. I had felt the love that had seemed to be getting lost and looking in her eyes now and then assured me that she loved me. Samantha loved me and I loved her, and Jaycey too.