The One That Got Away (GIRLXGIRL)

Chapter Thirty-two

Belle's POV

Have you ever woke up with the realisation that you're the devil walking among people on earth, that you're the most horrible person and that your life is some piece of crap? Have you ever woke up and went head on with reality? If you have never, I have.

I woke up the real me, or so I think. I woke up with Sam in my arms but with Jaycey running a marathon in my head. Slowly, I peeled myself from her touch. I felt disgusted at myself, not because I was with her but because here she was; a woman that genuinely loved me and I hurt her. The sting that I constantly caused in her heart was too much yet I kept on putting pressure on it. The memory of me leaving the house and chasing after Jaycey haunted my soul. I felt highly disappointed at myself, what kind of a person was I?

I got off the bed and went to the bathroom. After taking a quick shower, I changed into a sweat pant and a t-shirt topped up with simple morning slippers then quietly, I went out of the house. As much as I loved Samantha, I couldn't run away from the fact that even Jaycey occupied a portion of my heart. After seeing the pain glazing her eyes the day before when she saw me with Samantha I felt bad. The love that was mixed with her anguish wasn't hidden. Jaycey had to know that I had regained my memory. I know I seemed heartless since I didn't tell Samantha first but I don't need to be judged right now.

Standing outside Jaycey's apartment door seemed foreign but yet familiar. My heart beat out of my chest, I deeply breathed in and out then softly knocked. A second seemed like an hour but eventually after three minutes that felt like fifteen years of waiting, her face appeared at the door. She seemed as if she'd seen a ghost, her lips quivered and I noticed she had eye bags and she looked somewhat exhausted.

"Hi," I whispered, "Can I come in?"

"Y,yeah," she stuttered lowly, she moved aside and widely opened the door for me to enter. The apartment was still the same way I remembered it.

"What do you want," she questioned after closing the door. I took her in, she was wearing short pyjama shorts and a light tshirt that had a low neckline and it showed her cleavage.

"I want you," I blurted, her eyebrows scrunched, "No I mean, not in that way, what I'm saying is I want to talk to you."

"So you've suddenly reached a point where you don't want me want me," she asked.

"What? No I want you but no wait that's not what I'm here for," I chuckled nervously, scratching my nape, I said, "Uhm I got my memory back. I know everything that happened before the accident and I know how much I hurt you, I ---"

She cut me off, "Don't say it."

"I shouldn't say what?"

"Isabelle look," she took in a deep shaky breath, "I get it, you're inlove with Samantha and whatever happened between us was just a phase. Yes I admit it, you hurt me so bad but I'm past that."

"You're lying Jaycey, I can see it in your eyes. And yes I do love Samantha but I love you too and I care about you. I'm just stuck between the two of you, I don't know who to choose. I've been inlove with you ever since the day I set my eyes on you. I made a lot of mistakes, I'm not saying Samantha is a mistake or was a mistake but I just can't decide cause you both own my heart."

"You can't have us both, she's my sister for heavens sake!," her voice rung in the room.

"I can't leave you. There's something about you that makes me want to stay. I love you too much to leave you behind. I know I said some staff the day I got involved in that accident but I didn't mean it. I didn't want to lose Samantha, I had already slept with her stepmother and the thought of having her know about you made me insane. I didn't want to torture her."