Its Always The Pretty One

Chapter 12

One moment I was giving out my first kiss to Anthony and then I was left out confusion in the library all alone.

"Rejected... "

Was the first word that came across my mind. I didn't understand at first,  I was just empty?  Weird or confused or fuck it I don't know!? 

Tears were forming at my eyes as I tried not to weep. Alright... I was rejected,  shocked and confused at the moment.

Mrs. Cumberbatch even helped me pretty bad yet it didn't work. It ended up horribly as shit. Perhaps he's just confused as well?  I am confused but that was when he left me. He didn't want me,  why would I care? 

He was just my research buddy, he didn't wanted to pair up with me and do the study. Why would it matter?

Wet trails of my tears have passed my cheeks. I was in grief for myself, he didn't liked me bad. He told me it was wrong, he didn't explained to me but that was the reality.

Anthony Marshall Robinson rejected me, I shouldn't have hoped. I expected too much,  I am pretty today!  I feel so. I feel like it, I was pretty?

Everyone was awned and was complimenting me. So I was pretty for a day, yet it wasn't enough.

I felt like throwing up and dying. My chest hurts so much like I felt like it was being shredded to pieces. How aching it was in pain, in misery and doubt.

I wasn't pretty enough! 

I wasn't Jillian!

I screamed in anger and disappointed to myself. I was mad at Jillian,  I was jealous of her of how she was beautiful. Everyone was beautiful except me, I was that nosy midget! 

A freaking midget! 

I creeped underneath the table and cried to sleep. I didn't wanted to wake up anymore and perhaps wanted to die in a pretty dress. At least I'll die feeling pretty and shit compared to Jillian.

Drifting to a deep sleep,  I felt someone tugging my arm gently and calling out my name yet it wasn't Millie but... Shorty.

"Hey.. Shorty!  Jeaneeee.. It's getting late, wake up! " Javier groaned then tickled me.

I was a laughing maniac and told him to stop or I'll accidentally wet the floor. He stopped later on and had me come out of the floor,  he looked at me awkwardly.

"How long have you've been crying? " he asked.

"I don't wanna talk about it... " my voice was cracking as I wanted to cry again. He held me in a tight embraced and told me it was okay to cry. He handed me over his napkin and told me he'll drive me out to my place for tonight.

Turns out it was already ten in the evening and my aunt has been calling me, where I was yet I fell asleep on the library's floor. Javier handed me over his jacket since it was freezing outside and turned on the heater in his car since it was raining hard.

My aunt scolded me since I didn't answered her calls and had me to go my room to think about it. I only had a small room and I didn't mind about it. My bed, a drawer on the side with a closet filled with my clothes at the edge of the bed and my other supplies under my bed.

I couldn't understand what she was saying,  I was feeling stupid and useless. Though she stopped scolding me when Javier talked to her alone. I didn't know what it was,  probably a smooth lie.

The whole night I didn't sleep nor changed my clothes though my aunt did came in my room and helped me removed my messy make up from my cheeks. She told me I can skip out tomorrow's class and perhaps help her with her job tomorrow at the hospital. Filling in the papers and sorting it out. I only nodded and later on she kissed my forehead.

Daylight came creeping at my window and I was high like I was smoking it out but I wasn't. I didn't felt sleepy and took a quick shower, I dressed back to what I always wore. Simple clothes for a simple me, my aunt tried to cheer me up and introduced me to her colleagues. The doctor she worked for was an OB/GYN (Obstetrician-gynecologist).
Dr. Stirling was an old woman at her forties yet she looked like she was in her early thirties. Her hands were beautifully manicured and well taken care off. She was a sophisticated woman with her blond aging hair cut into a Bob and her face was soft. Her figure was large like that old aunt who'll spoil her nieces and nephews. She was friendly and nice to me,  she even showed me a few ultrasounds of babies and basic information.

I don't know what my aunt and Javier talked about last night but I did not mind.

Mrs. Cumberbatch's dress and sandals was still on the house, as I the dress was in the laundry and being dried.

I worked silently as I helped check papers and check in the bills to be count correctly at the front desk. There were slight errors and was quickly fixed, after that my aunt told me that I can go home early. She gave me her credit card saying I can be trusted and should buy myself a treat,  I told her the card was too much. Though she told me she left her couple of bucks at home.

She pushed me to buy ice cream and a couple of snacks at the hospital's basement since there were stores there.

After having my treats,  I returned her credit card and went on my way. Though before that we had a small conversation of my behavior last night.

"It's okay,  we all feel that. Javier told me about it since Mrs. Cumberbatch was worried about you. She asked Javier to tell me to bring you with me in work today if not then you'll be sulking or skipping school. Plus Anthony was at the library today, I always know how you looked at that boy. I wouldn't bug you out on what happened clearly you are stressed and devastated. " she sighed as I hold back my watery eyes.

I felt,  I don't know. My aunt understood me and was helping me out. I couldn't be more thankful!  As I got home, it was quiet too quiet that my mind was taking advantage asking me a lot of questions that hurt me. Ot was so loud inside my head that I sat of the floor and ate my ice cream,  half melted and tears pouring down my eyes.

I felt like a total loser like the mean girls movie.

I wasn't bitching out but I feel so numb and cold. Mrs. Cumberbatch texted me  saying that I can hang out in her place again though Javier was there. She acted like a teenager sometimes,  I had a small smiled and told her if my aunt was okay with it.

I called my aunt and asked her if she was okay and I had permission. She couldn't say no to Mrs. Cumberbatch,  that woman helped her landed on her current job now. Let's just say the old woman has a lot of connections.

Packing out a few clothes and supplies,  I ironed the dress as well and put it in a nice paper bag along with the sandals in a separate bag. Finished,  I looked at the mirror and wiped away my tears. Fatigue and dark circles at my eyes alongside swollen eyes.

It wouldn't matter if I cover it with make up,  it would be obvious. Locking out the apartment door and standing at the front door.

I saw Javier's car honked at me and called me to get in. It was a free ride and it'll save me a bus ticket. Mrs. Cumberbatch must have forced him to pick me up cause his face was pissed off.

I didn't asked him why and remained silent as we head down to his grandmother's place.