the boy who can't leave | mewgulf

mew's diary entry : 4

today's the first day i've ever taken someone out on a date. i don't know why but he makes me want to do stuff for him and i'm scared.

never have i got feelings for my boy toys. never, not once in my entire living existence.

what's so special about him? why do i feel this way? i'm pretty sure my ears blushed earlier in that car, this is not good for me. 

speaking of date, wow. i can never get that smile out of my head, his smile was beautiful upon entering the dinner room. i remembered how he said he was touched by it, how romantic the atmosphere was, how i was his perfect boyfriend. 

everything fell into place, just like what i have imagined. but, why do i have a slightly different mindset? 

i sort of, don't want to hurt him, but i do want him to be afraid of me.

at the same time, i want him to just be comfortable around me, fuck! what am i thinking? this is ruining me. 

oh, i did throw in some rat poison in his drink, i wonder how he's doing right now?