the boy who can't leave | mewgulf

mew's diary entry : 8

i'm never emotional, at least i have not been for a long time after knowing the fact that my mom had abandoned me. she left me to be with a useless dad while she fled off with another man. she had regretted giving birth to me and i know it, i've heard my dad said it countless of times, how i've been eating up their money because of milk powder, diapers, clothes and education,

never have i received love from anybody. not even mom but she was the nicest to me out of all people i've met. i was sure that people were there to hate on me or to use me but one person proved me wrong, gulf.

but now i don't know. after today's messages with him, it seems as if his sick friend is much more important than me. is it such a hassle for him to call me? it only takes a minute for us to talk about our day and that's it. that's all i want to hear from him but he didn't give me the satisfaction. 

gulf, you have no idea, how much i've suffered under the home and name of 'suppasit'. 

being abused since i was five is one thing, being sold off to different types of people to rape me for money is another. i have never had a normal life, gulf.

i want to tell you but that makes me vulnerable and weak.

and i don't like to be portrayed that way.