A Dance of Life

25

A gentle knock on my door causes me to sit up and Nicole's head pops in. I smile up at her as she comes in.

"Wow, how did you keep her entertained all day?" she asks me, sitting beside Rachel's sleeping figure. She bends over and plants a light kiss on her forehead.

I shrug and recline in the bed. "I only fed her, bathed her and we watched TV. I've realized that kids just want attention... most of the time."

"Indeed. And how about you?" She shifts Rachel slightly and lounges on the bed.

"I'm so tired to be honest. It doesn't feel like I've ever worked so hard in my life," I sigh.

"Have you slept?"

"No, I've been scared that I'll wake up and she wouldn't be in bed but when she's awake I know I can't be asleep."

"Oh, dear, the only way you can do this is to sleep when she's sleeping. And you need to sleep; you've been awake since early this morning," she tells me, her voice full of concern.

I nod my head and turn on my side so I face her. "How are Richard and Jocelyn? And the baby? Do they have a name for him?"

"Richard is holding on to hope. I left him visiting the baby. They agreed on Joshua. Jocelyn," she stops and shakes her head. "She's out of surgery but they're watching her carefully. There was a rupture in her womb or something. I- I just-"

Her voice breaks and I cover her hand with mine. "She's going to be okay Nicole. Everything is going to turn out alright."

"How do you know?" She asks, crying now.

"Because I look at my life. Although it's far from where I want it to be, I'd say I've turned out pretty alright." My voice is wobbling.

"I don't know what we would have done without you," she sniffs, "if you hadn't been here, Jocelyn-"

"Hey, no. Don't talk like that," I tell her as I pull her into a hug. "There's no point of thinking of what-ifs; it'll only drive you crazy."

"Annie?" Rachel says, stirring awake. "Gigi!"

"Hey, darling, how are you? Did you miss me?"

She nods her head slowly, sleep still clouding her thoughts. "Where's mama and papa?"

"They... went somewhere, but they'll be back really soon."

Rachel shakes her head and falls back asleep, this time in her grandmother's arms.

"I'll take her to her room; get some rest," she tells me. "And that's a command."

"Yes ma'am," I reply with a laugh.

Once she exits the room I pull out my phone from under my pillow and look through my messages. Pat had sent me a heart emoji paired with sad eyes sometime in the afternoon. I had been so tempted to reply but I chose not to, tossing it under my pillow instead. I find that she sent another text with a broken heart emoji this time.

I groan and stare at the ceiling. What are you doing, Annelise? Why do you keep thinking you have to go through this by yourself? She's meant to be your best friend. Stop pushing her away. You can't deny that you need her. Do you think that you'd have been able to get through all of this without her constant love and support?

She came into your life for such a time like this, my precious Annelise.

Clenching my jaw and strengthening my resolve, I send her crying emojis, and flood her with hearts. I wait nervously for her to reply. A minute turns into two, and two into five. I lower the phone and bite my lip.