Breathless (Chensung)

9

Jisung was back home -- well, a home that felt familiar but unfamiliar at the same time.

For Jisung's first day back home for summer (well, second day, since the first day he was so tired), his mother had invited all his relatives over and that included all his annoying cousins.

Well, great. Jisung had to sit through hours upon hours of his parents grilling him (fueled by all his aunties) about how he hadn't really gotten his life together.

Jisung knew he wasn't the most sociable kid on the block. Hell, he was probably kind of shy and a little withdrawn in person.

But ouch, hearing his family act as if there was something off with him sent daggers through his heart, and he felt a splitting headache coming in.

Jisung knew his parents were disappointed that he only made a friend in Mark in his time in America. He knew they were only worried because Jisung never really hung out with anyone but Chenle as a kid. He was always a little bit too smart for people to actually want to be friends -- sure, they respected him. They called him smart. But he didn't have anyone besides Chenle who he felt truly comfortable with.

Of course, his cousins were all pretty perfect -- successful, social butterflies, everything a parent could ask for. Jisung didn't know why his parents expected the same from him, as Jisung was leagues younger than most of them.

"Mom," Jisung said, in an attempt to end her long rambling, "you didn't let me tell you that I met Chenle again."

"Oh, that's wonderful, Jisung," his mother said. "But haven't you met anyone new?"

"Chenle has a lot of friends I hang out with. I still have Mark."

"Isn't Chenle that one kid Jisung always hung out with?" one of his aunts asked. "Haven't you talked with anyone?"

Jisung resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

Jisung felt his mother clasp his hand in hers. "Jisung, all I'm asking is for you to socialize, maybe find a girlfriend. You always seem so lonely that I'm starting to worry."

"I am not lonely," Jisung said sharply, and turned away from their concerned looks to his cousins.

"Tough being grilled huh?" his oldest cousin, Taeyong, asked kindly. "Don't worry, once you grow up some more they'll realize they can't expect everything to happen so quickly."

Jisung nodded, letting his head fall into Taeyong's shoulder as he watched their other cousins continue playing some card game.

"I'm just...tired of them always expecting me to be comfortable with everyone. I just wasn't born to be like you." Jisung sighed.

"Don't think too much about it, okay?" Taeyong advised.

Little did he know that was exactly what Jisung was doing in his bed at night.

Jisung turned to one side, his brain a muddled mess. He didn't know why his parents' disappointment was lingering on his mind.

Jisung never liked disappointing his parents.

Jisung also thought about how to solve the problem. How could he possibly show them that he wasn't as much of a social outcast as they thought he was?

Dating...

Jisung let his mind drift towards Chenle and his wide smile, small frame, and contagious laugh.

Jisung shook his head. Him being with Chenle all the time was part of the problem.

Jisung sat up, as if he had a great idea.

"I could date Yeri."

---

Contrary to Jisung, Chenle had his mind on Jisung all throughout the plane ride.

Staring out the window, gaze drifting onto the fluffy clouds, Chenle sighed quietly.

Chenle knew.

Well, he had known it himself for a while.

Chenle knew that he had a big, fat, annoying crush on his best friend Park Jisung.

Young, innocent middle schooler Chenle didn't even know what a crush was back then.

But after reuniting with Jisung for the past semester, he knew.

The comfortable touching, playful, flirty words, and overall existence of Park Jisung threatened Chenle's ability to keep everything platonic between them.

Chenle silently cursed Jisung under his breath.

Damn that Jisung for being so caring and perfect as a best friend so that Chenle fell hard -- and fast.

Chenle sighed again. He knew if Chenle let Jisung affect him too much it might change how they were. They were best friends who did almost everything together, cuddled each other to sleep, who exchanged sharp retorts but ultimately cared about each other deeply.

Chenle was too scared to have all of that crumble.

Chenle saw it before -- friendships broken because one of them was too afraid of knowing the truth.

Chenle could already see how it would go.

Curse Park Jisung for making his heart beat faster.

Chenle sincerely wished from the bottom of his heart that Jisung could somehow...just maybe...reciprocate the same feelings.

The sinking feeling in his gut didn't offer him much comfort.

---

honestly it was a bit of a shorter chapter but sort of just building up to some issues lol sorry guys

tbh i kind of relate to jisung, altho im not as smart as I wrote him out to be, my parents also once straight up sent me to a whole summer day camp thing just bc they heard from my vice principal that I was rlly shy and antisocial...so that's sort of what inspired me to give him this issue. parents sometimes worry about the strangest things but what can we do, right?

we'll delve further into the insecurities that jisung has later ^^ i tried my best to incorporate traits of them irl into this sooo pls enjoy hopefully!!