.: ~ Petals Dipped in Crimson ~ :. (On Hold/ Being Rewritten)

.: ~ A Mysterious Bag ~ :.

(Ps What happens next there is no changing and it's really depressing so If you don't like that stuff please skip to the next chapter. Don't let yourself cry over my book please. )

.: ~ Shinsou's POV ~ :.

I picked up my bag, I had bought a few things from the corner store. I was glad Dadzawa and Mama Mic hadn't been in there to see me bring it in and question, after all it was a pretty mysterious looking bag. Not very big either, I smile to myself (It's almost a sadistic smile BTW) I wasn't happy, no. I couldn't remember the last time I was.... Kaminari had been  my happy. Now, He was gone and my happy with him. Honestly the feeling of being happy had faded within the first year when Kaminari was in the hospital. So as the memory of the most precious thing to me faded. Happy vanished. It's nothing but a whisper taunting me now. All of it's so loud, 

'I know that the Bakusquad doesn't blame me now but if they knew he had caught Hanahaki because of me they would. They would instantly blame me for everything, I do, I bet Kaminari would if he remembered, no wait... he wouldn't... He was like that. He wouldn't blame anyone for it....'  

The thoughts were pulling my heartstrings. It hurt, After a short while I was overwhelmed by those voices I try to get them to shut up but it doesn't work. 

Your fault

Kaminari would hate you if he was still alive

'He Is!'

And he hates you.

'Shut Up!'

He does

and we both know it

'No!'

yes.

They were too loud, I got up and went to the bathroom in my room. (Please work with me, I know he probably doesn't but pretend he does for the sake of this plot) I dropped the bag on the floor and locked it I sat my back against it. I dump the contents of the bag onto the tiles, now in front of me lay a new blade, a box, and some new bandages. 

(This is THE last warning->depressing stuff ahead. )

I picked up the blade and looked at it. It didn't have rust... Or dried blood all over it. The sight made me smile again (not in a good way. At. All) I roll up my sleeve and look at the already fading scars they were almost gone since I had stopped when I got into 1-A and met... Kaminari. Just the thought of him made it hurt more, I raise the blade and count my sins

Kaminari died. Because of me

a new wound appeared

I paused, it stung, but I loved it. I had forgotten how good it felt, soon I couldn't stop. It was just like an addiction.

His friends blame me for it

another.

This started when I joined 1-A

another.

Dadzawa would disapprove

another.

Everyone hates me.

another.

Then ones from years ago begin to fill my head.

I'm better off a villain

I should just die

Nobody cares

All they do is pretend to

Even Kaminari

Even Dad

Even Papa

Even Eri.

Everyone. 

I finally look at my arm, for every thought it had been a scratch. The very last one had been deeper than the rest I felt light headed, probably from blood loss but did I care? (let me answer for you: No) I didn't stop there either. I rolled up my other sleeve and continued until there wasn't a single part of my forearm that wasn't covered in scratches. There was black spots in my vision, I put the blade away and wrapped the bandages around my arms. I didn't bother to disinfect them, hopefully the infections would be bad enough and kill me. Hopefully. I pull my sleeves back over them gently and clean up my bathroom, once I finish I step back and admire my work. You couldn't even tell he had done anything in there, the tiles shone and his sink sparkled in the bright lights. The only even remotely suspicious thing was the box I had left sitting on the counter top, which I was walking over to pick up right now. I opened it up one last time and noticed the blade was covered in blood still, so I quickly washed it all off. I checked the contents as I put the now shining blade with the remainder of the newly bought bandages and walked out of the bathroom. I tucked the box far under my bed and covered it up so that the only way you would be able to find it was if you was deliberately looking for it. I managed to get to up and collapse on the bed instead of the floor and passed out. 

.: ~ Le time skip brought to you by: This is a serious thing I am not trying to glorify I swear to god, also talk to someone please if your doing any of this or what's to follow I really care for you and if it makes you talk to me I'll give you some (Digital) toilet paper ~ :.

I open my eyes feeling Mama Mic shaking me rather harshly and screaming "GOOD MORNING MY FAVORITE LISTENER"  he had used his quirk an now my ears were ringing. I groan in pain and he walks out of my room it was Sunday so both my dads would be home all day. I forced myself out of bed and put on my purple hoodie (which is several sizes too big for him, ya know in case your wondering :3) and double check to make sure it will cover the bandages well so I wouldn't get found out. I walk into the kitchen and unenthusiasticly (yes I know, probably spelled it wrong, but my spelling died with my last brain-cell several years back so deal with it) drink my cup of coffee and eat the Tamago Kake Gohan (Yes, it is a common Japanese breakfast, look it up) Mama Mic had made me, I ate slowly. After I finished I felt sick to the stomach and end up racing to the nearest bathroom before throwing up everything I had eaten plus yesterday's dinner.I felt someone rubbing my back calmingly, (which apparently isn't a word but you know what i mean...right?) once my hurling stopped I looked over my shoulder to see who it was. None other than Dadzawa 'well great, now I look weak' "your fine, not used to eating a lot is all." Dadzawa's response makes me realize heh.... I had spoken aloud. 'Well Fuck' This time I made sure I only thought it. I stand up and Dadzawa ends up scooping me off my feet and carrying me too my room and tucking me in like i'm three. "Rest up, We have places to go later today." he told me softly, kissed my forehead and then left. Left me alone with my thoughts which were the last thing I needed to be alone with.

A/N Hey there readers! I realized how much I commented while writing this time and I apologize, yeah I may have went over board a little, but really I'm always here if any... what is it... 111? 100? 50? want to talk to some one. Love you all, and yes, I know, I can't remember how many readers, I actually think it's like 112 exactly or something. I will try and write the next chapter before the Day/Night's over depends on where the fuck you are if it's day or night. 

~ Your beloved lazy, slow Author

(Word Count: 1264)