there for me | tsukishima kei

chapter 10 ･:*+.

i lay on my bed that same night, burrowing my steaming face on my pillow.

after some time, i stood up to go to the bathroom.

my flushed face would not cool down.

i facepalmed myself. "oh well. at least tomorrow is sunday." i went back to my bedroom. i plopped down on my bed, starting to grow deep in thought again.

"does this mean we're...dating?"

my eyes widened at the thought, and i immediately grabbed my pillow to stuff my face in it again.

"but i don't know anything about being in a relationship...."

"but i think i like him...."

i shook my head. i needed to get my mind on something else.

i went downstairs, to see mom, who had her hand on her forehead. she didn't seem to be drunk, but hungover. it wasn't too often i see her without a drink.

"y/n." she turned to me.

"yes, mom?"

"i'm quitting my job. i need you to get a job or else we won't have money."

"please." she walked up to me and pulled me into a hug.

whenever mom pulls me into a hug like this, or shows me any sort of affection, i feel uncomfortable because i know it's all an act, and none of it feels real to me.

i sighed. "yes mom."

although it may be fake, a moment like this made me tear up. i longed for real affection from my mom. this may not be real affection, but i still had the urge to hug her back. she reeked of alcohol. tears began to stream down my face, but i didn't sob. i wanted to be held like this, by my mom, all the time. it's all i've ever wanted.

i looked up at her before taking a deep breath and pulling away from the hug. she saw my tears, and wore a blank expression.

she went back to her room, and i took a seat on the floor, wiping my tears that wouldn't stop coming.

~

i woke up the next morning on the floor, my eyes puffy.

i went up, and took a shower.

when i finished, i looked at my phone.

"woah." i said as i saw 101 unread messages from aoi.

aoi<3: Y/N

aoi<3: WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN YOU AND TSUKISHIMA

aoi<3: HURRY UP AND TEXT BACK I NEED TO KNOW

aoi<3: OKAY FINE IM SORRY I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. BUT WHEN YOU GUYS KISSED I WAS SO HAPPY

aoi<3: ARE YOU GUYS DATING

aoi<3: Y/N ANSWERR PLEASEE I NEED TO KNOW

i couldn't help but giggle at her texts.

i dialed her phone number. she answered almost immediately.

"aoi, hey-"

"Y/N WHAT THE HELL?! YOU KEPT ME WAITING FOR SO LONG!" aoi screamed.

"i'm sorry! i fell asleep." i laughed a little. "but you have some explaining to do....what did you mean by, you saw everything...hm?..."

she sighed.

"sorry, y/n. yamaguchi and i set you two up on a date."

"i had a feeling. sort of." i sighed.

"yeah..WAIT WHAT? but how...were we that obvious?..." she said, disappointed.

"yes." i let out a laugh. "i'm not mad about it though. if anything....thank you." i smiled.

"phew..." i heard aoi say. "so like, are you guys a thing now....."

i gulped. "um, about that....i'm a bit scared. i don't know if i'm ready. i would rather not think about it right now."

"hmm..fine. i have to go but i'll talk to you later. bye bye!" she hung up.

i sighed, and began to think about jobs that i could apply for.

"maybe i can work for our local cafe."

and so, i scheduled an interview for today.

i tidied up my appearance, and a few hours later headed out.

"phew. that was a little nerve racking." i exited the cafe. they had accepted my application.

i start tomorrow, as a waitress. luckily the work hours were flexible, so i would be working after school on the weekdays.

the following day, i was currently walking with aoi to school.

"calm down y/n! jeez, you look sick."

"but i'm so nervous to see him! what am i supposed to say if he asks about what we are?"

"just tell him the truth. if he really does like you, i'm sure he'll wait for you."

i sighed. "you're right i guess."

before leaving school, i had told shimizu that i would no longer be a manager so i could work part-time instead.

i was about to exit the school, ready to start my first day of work.

nothing had happened between tsukishima and i, and i wasn't going to lie by saying i wasn't a little worried.

aoi told me during practice, he would look back at me a couple of times, which made me nervous of course.

i sighed.

"y/n!" i heard someone yelling my name from behind.

i stopped and turned around.

"tsukishima?..."

he jogged over to me.

my cheeks grew pink as he approached me.

"sorry." he spoke.

"for what?..."

"i wanted to talk to you about yesterday...but i didn't get the chance until now." he scratched his head.

"it's fine. what is it?" i shook my head.

"are we...you know.." he mumbled.

i looked down, a small smile on my face.

"i think it's a bit early." i looked back up at him. he was a little shocked at my words. i grabbed his hand. "i want us to become closer."

"yeah..." was all that he could come up with. he wore a sad expression, that he tried hiding and yet i could see right through it.

i liked tsukishima. i really did. but i wanted our bond to be tighter.

"i have to get going." i let go of his hand, and was about to turn around, when he suddenly grabbed my wrist.

he turned me back his way, pulling me into a hug. he wrapped one arm around my head, and one around my waist.

knowing how he was feeling, i let him keep me in his embrace.

"i think i like you a lot." he mumbled.

"me too." i replied. "thank you for understanding."

he squeezed me in his hug once more, before letting me go. i looked up at him. he had a small smile on his face.

i smiled back, happy to know he understood how i was feeling.

-to be continued