"Adam did you want to help me with something" my mother said snapping me out of my daydream, "fine" I replied pushing my chair away from the table and following her into the library. "So what do you need help with?" I questioned leaning against the table, "ah yes I may have told a little white lie I wanted to speak to you alone please can you sit down" she told me as I sat on the table. "Ok so im here what do you have to know?" I asked crossing my arms, "well actually I wanted to know how you were holding up you know with the whole tommy thing" she told me.
"Not this again mother, look im trying to get over him but its hard. He text me saying all this stuff but its useless because we cant be together cant everyone just forget about it" I said trying not to get annoyed. "Will you stop denying that its killing you for goodness sake adam when will you get that you need help!" she said. "Yes ok its killing me to be away from him, everyday is just an effort to get motivated. I cant sleep or eat or even function properly without him ok is that what you want to hear mother?!" I said raising my voice a few octaves.
"See that wasnt so hard was it, you can roll your eyes and give me attitude all you want but im your mother and I know you" she said calmly. "You think its easy for me to let people know how broken I actually am? No mother its the most difficault thing for me to do I just want everyone to leave me alone why cant you get that" I said running out of the room and into the garden. She just doesnt get it, I cant tell people how I feel it makes me feel helpless. Some people may argue that im too proud but in all truthfullness I would rather just deal with stuff alone, I cant be bothered with their opinions on what I should or shouldnt do.
Maybe it is a small amount of pride but its much deeper than even my mother knows, all these people around me is just crowding me and driving me insane. My phone vibrated in my pocket as I pulled it out and saw an unknown number:
Hey Adam, its me again im going home in the morning have you any thoughts on meeting me? I know its hard and we will have to be sneaky but I have to see you. You know I love you right? Please reply so I know you're ok. I sighed and wrote a reply: Tommy you know we cant. If your parents found out im done for this needs to stop. I love you but please just leave me alone we cant be together. Im sorry.
Almost as soon as I had sent it he replied with I dont care I refuse to believe we are over. You cant end it with me, I need you. I shook my head and replied with we are over tommy please just stop texting me im sorry but we're done. He didnt reply this time as a small whimper escaped my lips as I leant on the balcony as a single tear splashed onto the concrete in front of me.
"Adam! Hey adam come on dinner is ready" ashleys voice said as she appeared in the doorway, I quickly brushed the tears away with my sleeve and sniffed. "Hey are you ok?" she asked, "im fine think im getting a cold thats all come on lets go inside its cold out here" I said pulling up my coat collar and heading into the dining room and turning my phone off. The whole table was full again made me wonder if they actually have anything better to spend their millions on. My mother was avoiding all eye contact with me as she ate in silence, Ashley and my father were deep in conversation.
I quietly pushed a carrot around my plate with one hand deep in thought as I nibbled a potato absent mindedly. I was vaguley aware of my mothers eyes burning into me as I tried my best to ignore her stare, the first course was taken away as more was placed in front of us. "Come on adam eat up" my father said as I ate what was in front of me purely because he was watching me like a hawk.
My stomach growled in protest as I eventually swallowed the last bit and pushed my plate away, the plates were soon taken away and dessert brought out. "Would you like some sir?" a servant questioned holding out the plate as it met my nose making me feel a little sick. "No im fine thanks im full" I politely refused which gained evils from my mother. Everyone eventually finished their meal as I glanced at my watch and saw it was 11pm. "Thanks for dinner mrs L it was delicious" ashley said leaning back in her chair. "Thank you im glad you enjoyed it" my mother replied smiling.
"Do you have time for a nightcap?" my father said holding up a whisky bottle, ashley shot me a look as if to say well? "Its getting late we both have work tomorrow we should really get going" I answered. "Its only one drink surely you can stay for 10 more minutes" my dad replied as I sighed and nodded. He smiled and poured out some glasses and filled them before handing them around to everyone.
We ended up staying until half past 11 in the end as we eventually said our goodbyes. "Goodnight mr and mrs L thanks agin for tea" ashley said hugging them both and climbing in the car. "Well thanks and goodnight" I said nodding and sliding in next to ashley as the door was shut and we headed out of the drive and on our way home.
"You know you could have hugged them they are your parents" ashley said quietly, "I could have but I didnt" I replied sleepily as I turned away from her and stared out of the window. Soon our house came inrto sight as the car pulled up onto the kerb, "thanks gary have a safe drive back" I said as I shut the car door behind me. "Youre welcome sir and I will goodnight sir, madam" he replied tipping his cap and heading up the road. I unlocked our front door and put on the lights, "well im going to bed see you in the morning" ashley said yawning. "Awesome night ash" I replied grabbing a glass of water and getting into my pjs. I fell onto my bed and turned out the light as I fell asleep.
