A week later..
I was going back to work today I couldnt sleep last night and now im pacing my hallway floor trying to muster up the courage to actually leave the house. "Adam you know you dont have to go back today they will understand" ashley said grabbing my wrists and stopping me mid step. "I need to work ashley im going crazy stuck inside Ive got my tablets in my bag" I said . "Ok but ring me if you need me" she said, "yeah I will its ok ashley I can deal with this" I said taking a deep breath and heading out of the door.
"Good luck" ashley said kissing my cheek as I blushed and pulled the door shut, I opted for the stairs and not the elevator as I made my way onto the crowded street. People pushed and shoved crowding around me as I tried hard to concentrate on my breathing, this was the first test in many I knew I was going to have to learn to handle them without a full attack. I finally made it to work with only a little bit of panic which im glad I controlled, I stepped into the cool foyer as annie ran over to me from nowhere and hugged me.
"Hey its so good to see you Adam, how are you feeling?" she asked looping her arm through mine. "Right now Im coping" I answered, "good well we are going to be late so did the doctor tell you whats wrong?" she asked. "Erm yeah he said I have anxiety or something and slight depression but I have tablets for it" I explained. "Thats a good thing though isnt it? Anyway come on lets grab an elevator and head up" she said. "Erm no Im going to take the stairs" I replied pulling back, "its up to you but you'll be late" she said.
"I'll take that chance thanks" I answered watching her as she climbed into the elevator and I headed for the stairs. I got into the office on time as angela called me into her office, "have a seat" she said gesturing to the chair in front of her desk. "So how are you?" she asked as I sat down, "im getting there" I replied. "Are you ok to be back?" she questioned, "yeah I was going insane stuck at home, the tablet Ive been given will help with everything" I explained. "Im glad to hear it" she answered, "yeah well its all good can I get back to work now?" I questioned. "Sure you can and im here if you need anything ok" she said as I nodded and headed to my desk.
As lunch came round annie came running over to my desk, "come on lunch my treat I want to hear about everything thats been going on with you" she said pulling me up and dragging me out of the office to the stairs. We sat down at a table in a cafe as she looked at me, "ok so spill" she said. "Theres not much to tell, tommy and me are over. He gets that now and I got a slap round the face for it. Now ive been told by the doctor I have depression and anxiety so yeah its all good, oh yeah and ashley is watching me like a hawk. Making sure I eat enough, whether im sick afterwards, if im sleeping properly. Its driving me nuts" I explained.
"Wow thats some spy shit right there so your like a prisoner thats crazy" she said sipping her juice, "yeah I mean I know ive not been great lately but its gotten out of hand" I replied stirring my tea. "Well then so this anxiety thing what triggers it?" she asked, "Im not sure I think small spaces contribute to it but even stuff like crowded streets and places with loads of people" I said absent mindedly. "Well i'll be sure to keep my eye on you then" she said finishing her drink, I drank the rest of my tea and placed the cup back on the table.
"Come on we better get back" she said standing up as we headed back to work. We went back to our desks as angela emailed me asking me to get some things from the supplies cupboard, the cupboard was dark and small but if I keep the door open everythign will be alright. I stood up and headed towards the cupboard and left the door ajar a little, the paper and things were on the top shelf.
I stood on the bottom shelf as I stretched up and heard the janitor whistling as I pulled the box off the shelf and grabbed the next thing. I heard a door shut as I turned round and saw the cupboard door was closed as I heard laughing, I dropped the box on the floor and turned the handle but it was stuck. Reaching for my pocket I realised I didnt have it. I banged on the door but noone came, ok so I was locked in a tiny cupboard in dim light. Ok adam its ok someone will come and find you, everything will be fine just breath I said to myself pacing the floor.
I felt myself getting warmer as seconds ticked into minutes, my chest was getting tighter by the minute and I could feel my pulse getting quicker. I felt sick and my hands were trembling as I licked my dry lips and everything started spinning. I need to get out of here, I need my tablets from my bag. I banged on the door as I leant against the wall trying to control my breathing, "please someone let me out" I shouted as I started to get more and more panicked as breathing became increasingly harder.
"Help!" I yelled as I heard footstep and banged on the door, I heard the handle turn as annie appeared in the doorway. She gasped as she rushed to my side, "adam come on breathe with me" she said taking my hands as I copied her breathing. "I cant" I said as the terry twins peered round the door at me. "We were only joking by locking him in it was a joke" they said, "Oh yeah because its so damn halarious to lock someone with anxiety in a tiny dark cupboard you fucking idiots!" annie yelled as they flinched.
"I have his bag" josie said running over to us as annie pulled out my tablets and handed them to me, I took one as my breathing slowly returned to a steady pace. "We really are sorry we didnt know" the twins said, "Its fine" I said quietly as I stood up. "You may go" angela said as they scurried away and she handed me a bottle of water. "Thanks" I answered, my pulse had slowed back down as everthing stopped spinning. "Im glad youre ok i'll see you tonight ok?" annie said as I nodded and was left with angela, "what the hell happened?" she asked picking up one of the boxes I had found.
"The door got jammed its fine really" I answered picking up the other one, "that was pretty serious back there you know but im glad youre better now" she told me. "Yeah well normally I can conrtol them and the tablets help a lot aswell believe me im good" I answered placing the boxes on her desk. She smiled as I headed back to my desk to carry on with my work, as the day progressed I grew more tired as I struggled to keep my eyes open.
Soon 5 oclock rolled round as I grabbed my bag and headed home, ashley was sitting on the couch as I unlocked the door and dropped my bag to the floor. "Hey good day" she asked, "no" I replied flopping onto the couch next to her and pulling my knees up to my chin. "What happened?" she asked, "I got locked in a cupboard and ended up having a panic attack it was so embarrassing" I said running my fingers through my hair. "Damn thats bad are youf eeling ok now?" she questioned, "im exhausted but apparently thats normal accorinding to google" I said as her lips curled upwards.
"Ok well how about movies, popcorn and ice cream?" she qustioned, "sounds good to me" I answered sleepily. She jumped off the couch and pulled the curtaind shut befoe collecting food and putting a dvd in, I yawned quietly as she pulled me into her body. My head resting on her shoulder and hers resting on my head, she pulled a blanket round us as I yawned again. "Go to sleep its ok im right her" she told me squeezing my hand, as laid back on the sofa and started to fall asleep as ashley sighed quietly next to me obviously falling asleep herself.
