I curled my arms around the pillow pulling it closer to my chest as I rolled over turning my back on my bedroom door. I figured I must have fallen asleep because I was woken up by someone calling my name, "go away" I mumbled burying my face in the pillow. The pillow was pulled away from my face as I saw my mother sitting on the edge of the bed. "Hey honey are you ok I heard you crying" she asked, I put my hands to my face and realised my cheeks were wet as I wiped my face with the duvet." Im ok" I answered quietly as she pulled me upwards and hugged me tightly, to my surprise I hugged her back.
She seemed a little shocked at first but moved my fringe from my face, "oh honey you have no idea how much it hurts me to see you like this" she whispered stroking my hair. There was a knock at the door as ashley walked in with a doctor, "I dont want a doctor" I whispered. "Honey you need one please just do as your told for once" she replied as she let me go and I backed up on the bed. I sat still while he checked me over and asked me questions,"well adam you have anxiety and slight depression Im going to prescribe some tablets for you to take twice daily and you will need regular checkups" he explained writing out something on paper and handing it to my mother.
He left the room and I could hear hushed voices outside as my phone vibrated, I reached for it and unlocked it. Can you meet me tonight at the green bull pub? I have to see you Tommy. I replied with maybe and dropped my phone to the floor, as I heard the front door shut and ashley and my mother talking outside. They went silent for a few minutes as the door opened and ashley appeared in the doorway with food. "Hey Adam I brought dinner you dont have to eat it. Your mother has gone to the shops for food and your tablets" she said placing the plate on the table and sitting on the bed next to me.
Suddenly a sob escaped my lips as I tried to hide it but ashley spotted it and tears trickled down my cheeks, "hey come here" she said pulling me into her chest and wrapping her arms around my waist. "Whats happening to me ashley, I cant deal with this anymore I really cant" I said in between sobs. "youre overtired and overworked adam this thing with tommy has hit you really hard but I know you can bounce back your strong" she said rocking me slightly.
Later that night..
"Shh hes asleep I think" Ashley whispered her fingers freezing in my hair momentarily, "you know I used to do that when he was little it always made him fall asleep" my mother said quietly as I felt the bed dip. "He fell asleep on his own well more like cried himself to sleep hes in a bad way Leila" ashley replied resuming stroking my hair. "He never does that this tommy thing has really gotten to him that boy and his family have a lot to answer to but hopefully these tablets will help I guess we had better wake him up" my mother said. "No I think we should leave him and let him sleep but hes laying on my legs and theyve gone dead" ashley laughed, I felt her shift underneath me as my head hit the duvet underneath me. I sighed and turned on my side as I heard the door shut quietly.
As I opened my eyes and untangled myself from the sheets I picked up my phone off the floor, it was 7pm and I had a text from tommy. He was checking if I was meeting him, he just didnt get it. He didnt get that we couldnt be a item anymore, his parents and my parents didnt want us together I mean hell they took out a restraining order on me just to stop us seeing each other. I know I will have to speak to him about it soon, to make him understand maybe now was the best chance.
I pulled on some shoes and headed into the front room as ashley and my mother looked round at me, "hey honey how are you feeling?" my mother asked. "Im ok im just going out for a walk I need to clear my head" I said, "do you want one of us to come with you?" she asked. "No its ok i'll be half an hour tops" I replied, "ok well stay safe" she answered. I nodded and made my way down the stairs and into the chilly night air.
I walked through the streets I came to the pub I was meant to be meeting tommy at, I stood outside for a few minutes debating whether to just turn round and go home. No this needs sorting now I thought pushing the door open and going inside, I spotted tommy sitting in one of the booths. He was exactly like I remembered him, blonde hair clipped on one side and deep brown almond shaped eyes. He looked a little thinner than before but still he looked good, he turned round as I walked over. "Adam you came" he said going to kiss my cheek but I put my hand up to stop him. He looked a little surprised but ignored it and sat down, I sat down opposite him as he looked me up and down. "Youre thinner than I remember, and paler. You look tired" he said. "Ive not been sleeping well lately nothing major but tommy this needs to stop" I said. "What does?" he questioned, "this texting and secret meeting we can't be together Tommy we both know it" I told him.
"So theyve won? You know I thought you were stronger than that, I thought you loved me" he said standing up. "Tommy they won the moment they took out a restraining order on me, maybe im not as strong as you think and you know I love you" I said. "I told you that wasnt my fault! I know you adam, I love you and you love me" he replied heading for the door. I followed him onto the street, "you have no idea how hard this is for me please dont make it any worse than it is. Yes I love you tommy but we are over" I said walking away. "Fine you dont want me? My parents were right about you adam, right about it all" he said tears filling his eyes.
"Tommy please dont cry" I said, "why do you care? You want us over well you got it im done" he shouted slapping me round the face and running up the street. I stood shocked for a minute before heading home trying to hold back tears and ignore my burning cheek. I unlocked the door and leant my forehead against it, the tears I fought so hard to control seemed to be building up as ashley glanced out of her room. "Adam how was your walk, what happened to your face?" she asked as I avoided her eye contact. "Please ashley just leave me alone" I said running into my room and slamming the door behind me. I collapsed onto my bed as the tears fell onto my pillow as I buried my face in it and broke down into tiny pieces.
