1980's / mattia polibio

.23

Mattias POV:

I was holding her hand, rubbing the back of it with my thumb, as she carefully had her head placed against my shoulder. I looked down slightly (making sure I didn't ruin her comfortable position) at her face as my smile grew wide seeing her happy.
"It's rude to stare" she stated while still focusing her gaze out on the beautiful town in front of us.
I let out a small laugh as I reposition myself to look at her. This caused her head to be lifted out of its position. She soon turned to look at me as well.

"Let's eat before it gets to dark" I say softly.
"okay" she replies while looking at my collarbone rather than meeting my gaze.
We begin to unpack the food while I peek glances at her every so often. Her usual relaxed feautures were slightly tensed up but I still noticed the change.

"Hey" I start, causing her to glance up. "I just wanted to apologize about what I was saying to you earlier, I know it may have sounded bad-"
"No you're right" she interrupted.
I stare at her for a moment encouraging her to continue.
"I am acting different. I don't know why but either way, I like this new me. The old one would have taken the insults or the ugly stares or even the push. Now I'm starting to fight back and stand my ground. I'm also much funnier."
I look up at her face to see the tense features gone. Overtaken by a small grin. I laugh at the last line she slipped into her tiny speech. She has changed and I need to accept it. It's not that I don't like this new change, because I love when she sticks up for herself, but I just thought she was acting different around me. I can see now it was just from the stress she had coming out of the fight. I should have given her some time to think about the previous days events. Now I just need to explain to her my dilemma. The second the thought popped into my mind my face dropped and I could tell she noticed.

"You okay?" she questions with genuine concern in her voice.
"Yeah, I just- I just need to talk to you about something."
She now looks even more concerned and straightens up, taking a pause on eating a strawberry. She's looking into my eyes waiting for me to say something. Avoiding her intense gaze, memories from the night come flushing in almost causing me to breakdown or maybe even throw up.

Natalia Smalls just asked me to be her girlfriend. Tonight was very special, Ive wanted her so long and now we are official.
As I'm walking down the small street in the direction of my house, I look back to see Smalls walk into her house with a smile on her face. A smile I haven't seen her wear in a while. I turned back toward my house to see Lexi standing at my door.
"Lexi?" I call out.
She flips around to stare at me with a surprised look.
"Heyyy. You just left your baseball hat at the field and I thought I would bring it back to you."
"Okayyy" I say walking up to her.
"Thanks."
"No problem cutie" she says while placing a hand on my chest.
I look down at her hand and laugh softly, taking it off and dropping it to her side.
"Cmon live a little" she continues to walk closer to me as I back up avoiding getting too close.
"Sorry but I should really get to bed" I try walking away but she wraps her arms around my neck pulling me towards her face.
I feel her hot breath against my face. It smells like fresh bubble gum and I was almost tempted to lean in. But, I pull away again. Frustrated, she pulls me around to the side of the house. It's dark over here and I barely can see much. She pushes me up against the building and starts to rub on my body. I try leaving again but she pins me down and starts to bite on my neck. She hits my soft spot and a light moan leaves my lips. She smirks at this and makes her way up to my lips, connecting them. I don't fight back this time. It feels so good and I knew at that moment that I should want to stop so badly, more than anything. But the pleasure is too overpowering. She lays me down on the grass gently and begins to grind on me, causing more moans to leave my lips. I am soon the one kissing her as I rub my hand along her thighs making my way up to her ass. Grabbing it causes her to gasp a little but her face is soon replaced with the same smirk and she lifts my shirt over my head. She kisses my chest making her way down to my V-line slowly. As she's about to undo the buttons that were on my pants, I look down at her. Realization suddenly smacks me in the face and I stand up. Grabbing my shirt and pulling it over my head. She's not Natalia. I wasn't kissing Natalia. It's Lexi. What. the. fuck. What am I doing, what is wrong with me.
I suddenly start freaking out and don't know what to do. I'm shaking slightly as the moments prior pop into my head. I shove them out and walk away from her once again trying to make my way inside.
"Where are you going? We were just getting started."
I look at her disgusted.
"This was a mistake. I never wanted to do whatever that was with you. I don't know what took over me. I'm with Natalia and I want to be with her for a long time. Not you. Sorry I let it go that far but we are not and be never will be a thing."
She simply gasps in shock sounding offended.
"Fine I'll just tell all your friends what happened between us, Im sure they will be terribly happy to hear that you made out with their enemy."
"Whatever. I'll deny it and I'm sure they will all believe me much more than you."
She stands there mouth agape. I turn away and walk into my house about to break down. I hear her stomping away outside and I run up to my room. I felt like crying or throwing something, hitting someone. But i didn't. I called Kairi. I needed to tell someone.

That night, Kairi heard everything that happened. He was pissed. Yelling at me, telling me I didn't deserve her and he was right. He said he was going to storm out of the house and tell her what I did but I begged him not to. He finally gave in but told me if I didn't tell her he was going to. He knew he couldn't keep a secret like that from Smalls. I couldn't blame him. I don't know if I could either. I had to tell her, I just don't know when or how.

"I- I um just wanted to say that" I couldn't tell her right now, I just needed a bit more time, "I'm glad I met you and that your in my life but you deserve so much better."
"Don't be silly" she says leaning in to give me a quick peck on the lips.
Guilt washed over me. I just need one more day. One more day to see her smile and to admire her beautiful features before they disappear to sadness and anger. Tomorrow I will tell her. I swear it.

Natalias POV:

He was acting weird. I couldn't pick up exactly what was wrong but there was definitely something. I didn't want to ask and keep pushing it considering we were finally having a good time. We talked the rest of the night although there was obvious tension between us. No one bothered to mention it.

The night was drawing to a close and I could overall say I had an amazing time. Aside from the occasional awkwardness. We were packing up everything. I folded the blanket holding it in the side of my arm while i pick up the picnic basket in my other. We cleared the place of trash and picked up the lanterns. Grabbing everything we walked back to our neighborhood making semi conversation on the way there. Stopping in the middle of the street I know all to well, I faced him.
"Today was amazing."
"Anytime" he said but fails to meet my gaze.
I pull his head closer allowing his eyes to fall on mine.
"Thank you" I state. I really do appreciate everything he's done for me. Although he didn't "like" me at first, he did come through. I love his company and he makes me feel safe. I might even love him. Although I can't confirm this yet. I need to figure it out completely. He makes me feel welcomed. But I also feel like he's hiding something. I understand that he has secrets that are needed to be kept, but I think this one involves me. I decided I would press further on the thought tomorrow. Right now I want to enjoy his company and enjoy this moment I'm having with him.

I pull him in for a meaningful kiss. His lips feel right on mine as they move in rhythm. A feeling ignites inside of me that only he can make me feel. Once I pull away I'm met with his eyes which have brightened up since a few minutes prior. He places one more kiss on my forehead and whispers "goodnight." I return this while I slip away into my house. Once the door is shut I nearly squeal but find a way to contain myself. I grab a bag of chips and an apple, finding myself to lazy to make a quick meal.

Laying in my bed, Mattia comes to mind. I really, really like this boy, but the feeling of him hiding something keeps lodging itself into my brain. I finally push it away finding myself falling into a deep sleep.

Authors note: literally so many of you saw this coming😭 I guess it was kinda obvious but whatever. Do you think Mattia will finally tell her tomorrow?

This some tea but make sure to vote and comment pls :)