1980's / mattia polibio

.28

Mattias POV:

I cant stop thinking about her. I cant stop thinking about how much I fucked up. I miss her so much. Her smile. Her laugh. Her. I just can't forget about her and I cant move on. I know that there is no way I can talk my way out of this, but I'm not giving up on her. She's perfect in every way possible and it hurts me to know that I caused her pain. There's no way I can truly make up for this but I am going to try.

Natalias POV:

It's been 5 days. I've done nothing but lay in bed all day and eat. I wouldn't call myself depressed but it felt like it.

The day after I had my breakdown in my bathroom, I couldn't stop crying. Two of the people I trusted the most, lied to me. The pain of both of the incidents came rushing in. I felt so incredibly weak, and I hated crying, but I couldn't stop. I only went about 7 hours that day without crying. I woke up the next day with puffy eyes and I didn't dare leave my room when my parents were out. I didn't want them to see me like this. They would freak. Now, 5 days later, (August 30th) I'm slightly better but the pain still lingers. Every now and then I want to let the tears fall but I remind myself that they're not worth it.

My eyes aren't red anymore which is an improvement I guess. Now I can go down stairs and talk to my parents every once in a while.

I had just made breakfast when I heard the boys outside. I peeked a bit and saw Mattia standing next to Alvaro with sandals on? I almost let a small smile creep onto my face but then it turned to a frown and I looked back at the tiny electronic television playing some old game show. I swallowed my eggs as I force myself to watch the boring show, in order to rid my mind of the boy that caused so much hurt.

Mattias POV:

I want to leave my house so badly and go to her, tell her how sorry I am. How much I miss her. It's not even like I want her to be my girlfriend again, I just want her back in my life. I would love to be able to kiss and hold her but I ruined that chance and it's all my fault. I've been writing to her on pieces of paper but I eventually throw them away in a box, knowing she wouldn't bother reading it in the first place.

Regardless, I sit up on my bed, heading towards my gray desk. I slip out another piece of paper, knowing it'll end up in the box of papers.

I know that you don't care to even think of me right now but I need you to know how sorry I am. You don't have to forgive me, but please just listen. You are the sweetest and most amazing person I've had the privilege to meet. You deserve everything and more and I'm so incredibly sorry to make you think other wise. Im sorry for everything. Me saying this obviously doesn't make up for the fact I did it, but it's true. You don't deserve me or to be treated the way I treated you. Just know that I will always care about you. I'm once again so very sorry for bringing you pain. With love and regret, Mat-

My letter is interrupted when I hear a knock on my front door. I hurriedly throw the letter into the box I mentioned before, closing/hiding it, and jog down the stairs. I slowly open the door but pull it fully open when I see who it is.

"Hey" I say.

"Sup bro" Alvaro says.

I stare at him with surprise. "What're you doing here, I didn't expect any of you to talk to me after how much of an ass I am."

"Yeah the boys thought that, but I um.. I know you Mattia. I know you would never do what you did just to hurt Natalia. There's nothing to say that excuses you of your actions but I just feel like you need a break of being cramped in the house all sad. Maybe you don't deserve it but I wanted to invite you to the pool anyways."