Nowhere But You

Chapter 39

Author's note: Because some characters and settings will be brought back in this chapter after a while, I considered proper to leave you a little reminder note from Chapter 31, the one with all the home videos:

· The 'Italian villa' is the villa that belongs to Sean Laguardia, the guitarist of the Quicksand Swimmers. This is the villa where the girls and One Life Remaining stayed in 1997 and where Robin and River got married.

· Bianca is Sean's cousin, who takes care of the villa. She became good friends with Robin and helped her with her wedding.

***

"What do you want? What do you really want?"

Robin didn't sleep at all after her late night arrival to the Italian villa.

Her own voice resounded inside her head, mixed with echoes of his voice and flashing scenes of his sad, repentant eyes. She looked at the sun coming in through the light-colored drapes. She had no idea what time it was but the sun had been out for a while. She got up from her bed, stretched, took a few steps and opened the glass door to the balcony and stepped out, the air from the Italian countryside filling her lungs and caressing her face. The bright colors of the other villas contrasting with the green of the mountains and the blue skies, made her heartbeat accelerate.

Like the very first morning they spent there.

The spot where she stood was the same where he used to lean against the black iron rail to soak up the sun.

Just a few days before, One Life Remaining's 10th anniversary documentary was premiered at Newtown's Film Festival. It was emotional, introspective and beautiful. Impeccably done. The management, the label, those lucky enough to attend the premiere and the band, were satisfied.

It showcased River and Nathan's backstory: 'the most unlikely couple to last together that long.' The shock after Julian's death. The first meeting with Liz, the little girl with massive beats and then with Johnny, the shy little man with the mammoth voice and words. The first record and tour. Trying to break in into a world flooded by a new wave of pre-manufactured pop acts and thus staying away from labels. That cameo in that movie. Saturday Night Live. That first and fabulous acoustic show for TV with borrowed instruments. That friendship with that baseball player Robin never particularly liked. Magazines. Radio. Those never ending tours that came after and that did everyone's head in (especially Eli's, which triggered his drinking problem). The middle records full of tension. The reluctance towards the press that came after...

The fans, the songs, the melodies and what inspired them. The people around them who always had their backs. The music they made and will continue to make together. The most important things.

Had it only been ten years? Really?

It was emotional at times. Laughs were heard. Tears were shed.

A last minute addition of Liz narrating some pages of her tour logs to illustrate episodes on tour and reflections was the perfect touch, just like that neglected song added to an album's tracklist at the last minute and which ends up being everyone's favorite.

Robin's lips curved into a smile when she remembered Liz on the film, as she stopped reading, blushed and said: 'the rest is personal.'

Nathan's grin lit up the entire room.

Robin breathed deeply. She had to admit some parts of the film made her feel numb, even though deep inside she just wanted to bawl. It had been hard work, but a labor of love nevertheless. There were no words in any language that could describe the love she felt for this band, her chosen family.