Impossible Love

Chapter 55

Parts of me. It already broke apart. Now it mores went on. I didn't know what to decide. All I felt now is only anger and the desire to know what was really happening.

I took a deep breath and at last woke from my thoughts. I didn't how much time I took with them but when I opened up Kris was already standing up in front of me with his hand holding Julia's. That, shattered the whole me into pieces, falling straight to the cold floor.

"Tell me, if you love her and I'll let go." that stopped his feet from walking away with her, that bitch, Julia, away. "You don't have to just lie to me that you love me. If you're with the one you love then I'm happy, too, if the one I love stay happy with his." I sighed. "I know I can't stop you from going or anything but I want the answer. The truth one. Not asking me if you love me or not. Or even her. But, Do you ever feel that you love me once? Or just a breath-time. I wish you will love me like I do, for you. You might be think that I'm crazy" my tears started to roll down my hot red cheeks. "to love you like I'm doing but do you understand how much it hurts?" I screamed at his face. "Just tell me you don't love me then that's okay. But lying to me, acting, pretending and now holding her hand in front of me it just I can't stand it anymore. I know it won't do any goods by telling you this because I know you will just go of loving her but I jut wanna let out what I've been holding for so-too-long inside. You should have just tell me and I'll go trying to shut out all the holes in my heart and move on. Though, thanks for you lies that it made me felt some warms and happiness. No matters what I still love you" I didn't want to give him any courage that let him i felt I'm weak so I "but now its different from what have ever been before. I just wanna tell you this. The meaning of now. I love you, Kris." I started to taken aback from him. Inches away. "Yes, you can go now." I nodded for permission for him to leave.

"Thank you!" he curved a smile but didn't spread to his eyes. "Sometimes, I feel like I could love you." Could? That burnt my life forever even my souls. "Wish you move on and find someone better." he smiled again this time it spreads to all over his face. Then he vanished out of my sight with that Julia.

The moment he ran out of my sight I fell to the ground. My angers were all out into air and now depression took over me. I sobbed then turned into a cried, so miserably that I've ever done in my life.

At least, he used to feel that he could love me. I smiled like an insane to myself at what he said to me. Not that words he said could love me. But, at myself, that I'm stupid to love him-that I always believe him even when he's lying. I said I knew him but what? He lied to me and I didn't know. I'm so stupid and an idiot to be this me. And cried all over again. I could just feel I can make myself disappear into the floor so easily. I never though if crying like this even once. Now, worst than I've ever imagine even in front of these boys.

"For the first time meeting, things become like this." I barely could hear that. It was Jack.

"My girl." and he pulled me into a loving hug. He patted my back softly, to let me let out the cries and it'll be over soon.

"Al! A-Al.... I never th-ought h-e wo-uld do t-his to m-e.... He's a disaster to my life. He is ho-rr-i-ble." I cried into his chest.

My eyes full of tears under it. My lips got bitten by my teeth. My nails dug down into my palm-flesh, luckily, it didn't cut, just a mark of nails into it deep enough not to bleed.

After a moment, I found myself sitting on a chair with Albert by my side. I stopped crying but still weeping. My breaths weren't well, already, it was still hard to breath consequently.

"Get over it! I know you can't but take it later. For now, do this one thing for me." Al handed me tissues and asked my wryly.

"What is it?" I wiped by tears off, still, gasping for air.

"Stay put with Jack? Or I'll call Helen or Alex for you because I think Jack doesn't know anything, of course. I'm going to talk to Kris." he seemed helpful but I didn't want him to intervene this.

"No! Don't talk to him. Let him do whatever he wants to." a whispered turn into a screamed, instead.

"I'm pleading you. Just this one, once. I'm his best friend, alright! I want to know what happened to him that turned him this way." he caressed my cheeks.

"Al~ N....." before I could finished my sentence he cut me off.

"Don't say it!" he put his point-finger over my lips. "Listen to me, Alizabeth!" he smiled again, encouragingly at me. "Once, in the name of your close friend." his voice trembled.

I didn't know what else to say. I nodded. "Correct something. You're my best friend, too." I tried to smile. He never failed making me smile at anytime.

"Yes, of course I am." and he pulled me into a hug gladly.

"Wait! Where's Kay?" I questioned in a sudden.

"While you were out of reality into your freaking thoughts world, his mom called and he needs to get home leaving Jack here." at that 'freaking thoughts world' it made me laugh and he did, too.

"Are we done yet? Don't tell me I'm going to help working here at all." Jack interrupted the silence. "Though, I'm interest in that machine." he pointed to the brew machine on-inside the counter.

"Never fail to amuse yourself." Al stood up. "Well, so sad we won't be opening until everything's settled. But if you're liking it come over and I'll teach you somedays. Of course, not now. You understand that, I knew it." he explained briefly.

"Promise me?" Jack raised his eyebrow.

"Girl things!" Al chuckled but he still did it. "Ill keep my words." he smiled helping me up.

"It's not like I'm blind or unable to walk or something." I frowned.

I felt like the world was so different. All I wanna do now is something that could make me laugh to the world again. I didn't feel anymore anger or sadness. I just wanna hang out again until my heart healed by itself after times.