I Choose You

Forgive Me Friend

"And you, you've been coming closer to the edge
Wondering what goes on in my head
And so I shut you out
And I guess that we don't need to be falling apart
But you will always have a special place in my heart
I never wanted this to end, can you forgive me friend?
'Cause I fell in the hole, in the hole, in the hole
My heart was turning cold, turning cold, turning cold
I never wanted this to end, can you forgive me friend?"

- Forgive Me Friend by Smith & Thell

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The corner of my lips automatically turned down. "Excuse me?" I managed to say, surprising myself that I found my voice.

Alexander shrugged as if what he said was not a big deal. "You heard me. Do I need to repeat or spell it out?" He said, sitting back down on my bed.

"There's not a need for you to repeat yourself. But, there's a serious need for you to get out of my house," I pointed to the window in which he came through.

Any giddy feelings of Alexander caring about me was gone.

I could not get his voice and words out of my head. Plus, I don't f*ck with virgins.

"Listen, I know I stuck a nerve," Alexander calmly replied as he resumed his former sprawled out position on my bed. "I will admit, as a friend that was a low blow-"

"You think?" I exclaimed, vexed at the situation. "I would never say anything like that to my friends Maggy or William."

"Maggy and William? Aren't those the couple at our school that you are always hanging out with? The ones in an open relationship."

I was confused, "Open relationship?"

"Yeah," Alexander's dark eyes locked with mine. "It's when two people are dating but they have an agreement that they can screw or mess around with other people."

"Maggy and William are not together. And, if there was ever anything going on between the two, they would not go for that," I said in disbelief. Maggy would ever want that in a relationship. She would crave monogamy too much.

"Don't knock it. There are studies that open relations work better because humans are not meant to be monogamous."

"I don't believe that. At least not for everyone," I said.

"Believe what you want," Alexander shrugged.

I came to realized Alexander had changed the subject away from his crude comment. Even remembering his words caused me to feel a twinge of anger, however, it was not enough to start kicking him out again.

Walking over to the desk my mother placed in the corner of the room, I pulled out the rolling chair and sat down. "So, what's so bad about Icarus?"

Alexander closed his eyes and inhaled. "I don't wanna talk about it. Just stop talking to him."

I couldn't determine if it was anger or shock that I was feeling or a strong mix. Ultimately, I frustration took over as my main emotion. "Why are you here? Is it to lecture me about Icarus?"

"Partly," Alexander stated. "I also wanted to hang out with my friend."

"You don't have many friends, do you?" I pinched the bridge of my nose, as I started to feel like Alexander was irking me to end.

Opening his eyes, Alexander chuckled. "Alert, alert! We have a Captain Obvious in the house."

"Yeah, well for being 'Captian Obvious' I think there are many things that should be obvious to me but are really going straight over my head."