I Choose You

Sinner

"I've been throwing stones, waiting by the river

I've been on my own, praying like a sinner

You've been gone too long, I'm waiting out the winter

I've been on my knees, praying like, praying like a sinner. . ."

- Sinner by Andy Grammer

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"How did y'all even get into watching these videos?" Curiosity was overwhelming. I never thought Walker, nor Holden, would have any interest in watching illegal street races. It was changing my dynamic and thinking towards both of them. 

The two people I thought I had nailed down were just as secretive as any. It had been a shock but I was adjusting to such emotion. 

Once again, Holden and Walker seemed to have a private conversation with their eyes. Holden was the first to look away. I watched as he triple checked all the wires around his computer and TV. There was no need for his actions. He was avoiding answering my question by acting busy. I gave Walker a pointed look.

Walker rarely looked nervous as he squirmed in his seat.

"Walker, what is it?" My tone was cool and collective, in comparison to the way I felt internally. It was a battle not to press Walker any harder.

"It's nothing." Walker calmly stated, lying through his teeth.

"Really? Does not seem like nothing."

The pressure was on. Within minutes Walker cracked, per usual. "Holden and I use to digitally set up the races. We were in charge of the cameras and streaming service."

My breath intake gave a low sounding gasp in response. "You worked for an illegal street racing business?" What I meant as a statement out loud come across as a question. 

I was in disbelief that my own brother tangled himself in that kind of business. It was illegal, therefore it was wrong.

"It's no big deal, G.," Walker casually responded. "We weren't involved when the races took place. We only installed the cameras, to the cars, at the shop. We worked on the streaming service remotely. Plus, we stopped when we went to college."

Holden stood up and sat in between us. "Good money. Kinda wish I never gave up the job."

"You could always get your job back, you know?" Walker said, implying that Holden's old job easily was up for grabs. "All you have to do is-"

"Walker!" I interrupted. Holden needed to move forwarded to big and better things in his life. He needed to go on the straight and narrow path. Only that way would Holden live up to his fill potential, I believed. "You shouldn't be suggesting an illegal job to Holden. He could get in serious trouble if caught." The last thing that Holden needed was a criminal record, if he did not have one already. 

Worry set in, not just for Holden but Walker. I hated the mere thought of them having a criminal record. They had always been my role models. They excelled to the best of their abilities at school and had graduated high school. Walker was the first in Dad's family to go to college, making Walker the prodigal son - despite the close daughter-to-dad bond I had.

If Walker, or even Holden, had a criminal record in their high school years, my parents would know. With Walker, my mom or dad would have been notified by the police because he was under age at the time, I thought through. 

Holden's father would have not blinked before telling my parents if anything worthy of sharing had happened - including Holden being on the wrong side with the law.