I Choose You

Thunder

"Just a young gun with the quick fuse
I was uptight, wanna let loose
I was dreaming of bigger things
And wanna leave my own life behind
Not a yes sir, not a follower
Fit the box, fit the mold
Have a seat in the foyer, take a number
I was lightning before the thunder. . ."

- Thunder by Imagine Dragons

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Standing by the front cash register, I reached around Merle who was finishing an order. I grabbed the standard uniform apron and quickly fastened it. "Grace, I can't decide," was the first words that Merle said, spinning around to face me after the customer had walked away. 

"What can't you decide?"

"Rick, the owner, has left the choice completely up to me for who to hire - Holden or Alexander," Merle ran an anxious hand through his wire, salt and pepper hair, disheveling it even more. "Alexander impressed me and seemed helpful the other day while working with you. However, Holden has actual restaurant experience and great recommendations . . . Tell me, what are your thoughts?" Merle locked eyes with me, waiting patiently for a reply. 

I sucked in a quick breath, realizing he was expecting an answer so that I could help him with the hiring decision. 

I was biased. Holden had a special place in my heart because of our childhood together. Since his father's wreck, I knew Holden had been handling most everything including bills. His hardship made me want to advocate for him even more.

Alexander on the other hand . . . I would have not blinked and told Merle that Alexander was not the right fit if Merle had asked me before the weekend. Even at that moment, with Merle waiting for an answer, part of me urged to tell him to go with Holden. 

Ever since Alexander left without warning the previous night, it had sent me into a grumpy mood. This morning, I had no energy to get out of bed and go to work. It was only my mother's constant knocking and reminders of work, that I figured it would be better to go to work than stay around the house moping. 

I wanted Alexander to stay Saturday night. I had prepared for him to stay. 

The plate I brought to my room for Alexander had gone untouched. My English paper was only two paragraphs long. What little I had done would have to be deleted. There was a long night ahead of me. 

Still, the weekend happened. Alexander managed to weasel his way farther in my life. According to Alexander, we were friends. I had no idea what that meant for Alexander. I did know that Alexander's definition of a friend was not normal. He was rude and did not seem to know what boundaries meant. Still, Alexander's presence only ever increased my desire to get to know him more and to understand who the real Alexander Black was. He was a window piece that I was now getting backstage access to. 

"You're the manager, Merle. Do what you think is the best." I lamely replied. I could not support one or the other. My emotions and attachments were too much involved. There was no sound decision to be made on my part, despite knowing in my heart that Holden was a perfect fit. Holden would be reliable and a hard worker. Alexander was seemingly a flake but I did not know his true work experience when not on a trial period. 

"Well . . ." Merle half muttered. "I could hire both," he said a little louder, "It's not like we have a lot of workers. Aside from you, there's Antonio . . . I do work seven days a week. It would provide me a break," Merle began to think. His points were valid. We were understaffed and he worked too much. 

"True," I responded with a nod. "But, do we have it in the budget?"

Merle thought about it for a second, weighing the odds. "Yes, we do but I'll have to talk to Rick," Merle said, clearly liking the idea of hiring both Holden and Alexander.