I Choose You

Heat Waves

I just wonder what you're dreaming of
When you sleep and smile so comfortable
I just wish that I could give you that
That look that's perfectly unsad

Sometimes, all I think about is you
Late nights in the middle of June
Heat waves been faking me out
Heat waves been faking me out

- Heat Waves by Glass Animals

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"Okay, buttercup," the anguish of a lost battle laced Alexander's voice. "For now, I'll not say a word about how you should not fall for me," Alexander had waved a white flag for peace but temporariness lingered. "I won't say a word. Plus, you have been warned enough.

"To add, I won't talk about you being a virgin," scratching his nose and then stretching his limbs with a pleased groan, Alexander was at full leisure. His attitude to the conversation reflected the topic was a trivial matter to him. He was not the least bit embarrassed at what was being discussed. On the other hand, my cheeks were on fire. I would have never dared to talk as freely as he had about such things.

Alexander gave a Cheshire cat grin, showcasing envious pearly white teeth. Suspicion stirred within me.

There was a price to pay. He had something to gain.

A battle sparked within me. Did I really want to know what that price was? A mix of curiosity and concern eventually won. "What is the catch?" The words were hesitant to leave my lips but offered relief once out in the open.

Alexander clicked his tongue. "Simple. We're going to get you out there more. It will help loosen you up a little."

Despite not feeling comfortable with the topic at hand, Alexander lit a fire under me - one of which I had never felt. Without thinking, I nervously spoke, "I'm comfortable being a virgin."

I felt a tremble on the tops of my thighs and looked down to see that my hands were shaking. Intertwining the fingers of both my hands, I gripped tightly with hope the quakes would cease.

I was frozen in place. Alexander's dark eyes locked onto me; doing more for stopping my trembling hands than I ever could. "I never mentioned losing your virginity."

My right eyebrow hiked, "Seemed pretty implied when you said 'loosen you up a little'." A numbness followed by tingles erupted in my fingers, signaling the tightness to which I was still gripping my hands together was too much. I eased but remained stiff, in place, trapped by dark orbs that did not waver.

"I pinky promise, you will not lose your sacred virginity on my watch." Not moving any other part of his body from my bed, Alexander lifted his hand out and showcased the seal of any true pinky promise.

His childish act caused me to roll my eyes. "I just . . . I'm perfectly happy the way I am."

"Trust me. It will be fun."

Believing in Alexander Black was not something you heard or thought of. It would be foolish for anyone to do so. At least, that was what one would assume after hearing all the rumors that surrounded Alexander.

Yet, I was foolishly and continuously putting some form of trust in Alexander as our relationship grew. My brain provided every warning sign that I should leave Alexander alone. He was not good news.

Any other situation and person, I would have listened. I would heed to such signals. But, there was something deeper and more compelling about Alexander that bulldozed any sense of what I would normally do.