I Choose You

Jump Around

Unedited

***

"Anyone stepping to me you'll get burned

'Cause I got lyrics but you ain't got none

If you come to battle bring a shotgun

But if you do you're a fool, 'cause I duel to the death

Trying to step to me you'll take your last breath

I got the skill, come get your fill

'Cause when I shoot to give, I shoot to kill"

- House of Pain "Jump Around"

***

While Alexander was in his interview with Merle, I found myself at one point standing behind the front counter waiting for the next customer to come in. The Maine Tearoom was practically empty, aside from a young man sitting at one of the tables; typing away on his laptop. 

Leaning against the counter, I began to think about how I have been acting towards Alexander lately. My memories of our encounters flashed through my thoughts. With each remembrance, my stomach twisted a little bit more. 

I had been so rude to him.

I wondered if a few days back had Alexander come up to me on the bus would I have been so brash with him then?

Instantly, I could remember the nervousness I felt as Alexander walked towards the back of the bus. Headed straight towards me. The feeling was as if dread had consumed me. The mere thought of talking to him scared the daylights out of me.

Fast forward several days later, I was talking to Alexander as if I hated him. 

But, I knew I did not feel that way. While I still held fear of Alexander and his true self — whatever that might be — I still had a slight crush on him. That is what really scared the hell out of me.

Truth be told, I knew I was trying to push him away. If he became a staple in my life and my feelings would grow. I couldn't let that happen. 

His world and mine were never meant to mix. I needed him out of my life and soon. I couldn't allow myself to become tangled up with him.

The thought of Icarus popped into my mind and I audibly sighed. Icarus was the kind of guy that I could see myself with — not Alexander. Icarus was sweet and he was not as mysteriously complex as Alexander. Exactly what was good for me. I need simple.

I began to think about our date, which was planned for the next day. A smile found its way onto my face. I plundered what Icarus could be planning. I made a mental note to text him later and ask so that I could know what to wear.

"Coffee. No sugar or cream," a voice spoke, making me jump off my train of thought.

Blinking an extra couple of times, I gave the customer a warm, welcoming, smile. "Sure thing. What size coffee would you like?"

"Large," the middle-aged man said, digging into his back pocket and pulling out his wallet.

"That will be two dollars and eighteen cents. Is this to-go or for here?" I asked as I put in his order.

The man handed me a five dollar bill and said that it was to-go.

Just like that, the cafe started to pick back up again. Customers began to trickle in continuously. Within a matter of twenty minutes, nearly all of our tables were filled and I was hustling around making sure everyone had what they needed.

The moment I gained a breather, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled out my cell phone to see that Maggy had sent me a text message.

Maggy:
Down to hang out with Will and I Sunday?