To Love Someone

chapter 12

Dedicated to my beloved BFF Angyjeena and darkrubies, they helped me with SOME ideas, some.....

April dressed and went down to the courtyard where she met Ian and some of his men, Ryan included, saddling their horses. He had told her the previous day that he had to travel to settle some issues. She stood beside Owen as she waited for him so she could wish him farewell, as was customary. With her hands clasped in front of her, she watched as he went to his father first and bowed deeply before him respectfully.

"Return soon," was all Owen said then he turned and left.

Ian came to stand before her, but her tongue was tied. That was how she felt whenever she stared into his beautiful green eyes.

"Well wife, aren't you going to wish me farewell?" he asked with a smirk on his face, and instantly, she had the ability to talk again.

"Och, wipe that silly smirk off your face. Of course I wish you farewell... Farewell," she said.

"Is that it?" he asked.

"What, you wanted more?" she asked haughtily.

"A farewell kiss will do," he said wiggling his eyebrows.

"You wish," she said and dipped into the most pathetic excuse of a curtsey Ian had ever seen, "farewell husband," she said then smiled up at him, winking, "does that please you husband?"

Ian narrowed his eyes at her, the little minx really knew how to annoy the hell out of him. "A kiss April, of your own free will."

She loved the way he said her name, considering this was the first time he ever called her by her name. He always called her wife, but she liked the way her name sounded on his lips.

His lips. Focus woman!

She bowed her head and said, "it wouldn't be proper."

"What wouldn't be proper?" he asked confused.

"Me, kissing you here. In front of people," she said in a small voice.

Oh!, so she was shy. He smiled and tried not to laugh.

"So, you would have kissed me if there weren't any people?" he asked grinning. Her head snapped up and she scowled at him.

"I wouldn't have!" she said indignantly. He pulled her towards him and kissed her hard, trying to block out the hoots and whistles of the stupid men behind him.

When he let her go, she was breathing hard, and her lips were pink and swollen.

"I can kiss you whenever and wherever I want," he told her and she nodded. He refrained from reminding her that just minutes ago, she hadn't wanted to kiss him in open.

"You better get going so you can get back in time," she said breathlessly and patted his chest.

"Are you insinuating that you will miss me?"

"Interpret it whichever way you want," she said and brushed an imaginary speck of dust from his cloak, "just don't die," she whispered and stepped back, "God speed husband."

Ian tenderly touched her face, and without another word left. She watched as they filed out the gate, and in that moment, she wanted to cry. Steeling herself against her emotions, she went back in and was stopped by Freyr.

"Well we'll, looks like someone's in love," she sneered. "Know this, it won't last forever...mark my words princess," and she left.

What?
Ignoring her, April went to her newly found favorite place by the loom. She was weaving a new tapestry for the hall, and she was halfway done.

As she worked, she thought back to what Freyr had said. Was she really in love with Ian? Of course not! Like maybe, but not love. It was too soon to be in love with him, besides, she didn't know what that love felt like. She had sisterly love for her sisters, and she felt another kind of love towards Ryan, Marge, Karen and Brienne.

And then there was Owen whom she loved dearly like her own father. But what she felt whenever she was around Ian, could she call that, love?. She always felt this distinct feeling of elation around him, and a tingling sensation in her lower stomach whenever they kissed. And how she loved it when he kissed her, when he would slide his tongue into her mouth and she would feel herself slipping into ecstasy. Or when she ran her fingers through his long silky dark hair.

Recently, she was beginning to want to do more than just kiss him. She had even been having dreams about him. And though, he had not slept in the same room as her, she had imagined him laying next to her, doing wicked things to her. And was that a good thought? She was a Christian woman, and she shouldn't be having such impure thoughts.

Hold on a second, when did I suddenly go from hating him to loving him? Nope, scratch that, she didn't love him. Yet. But she did admit that she wanted him, and did love the way he kissed her and ....

"Shall I call the healer? Cause I do not think this behavior is normal, "a voice said from the doorway. April turned and saw Karen standing there.

"What?"

"You were smiling stupidly at the loom, and I was just wondering if I should call the healer to check on you," she told her as she came closer, "oh look, you even missed some lines. You are going to have to loosen what you just did." Karen said with a knowing smile on her face.

"Oh!" April pressed a hand to her burning cheeks then began loosening.

"So," Karen said in a conversational tone as she went to sit on a chair facing April, " what were you thinking about that had you blushing and smiling at nothing like a lunatic?"

"Stop calling me that! and it's none of your business. Mind your business!" she glared at her through the threads in the loom.

Karen started laughing, "I have a good guess what it is, but I do not think you will like me saying it out loud, so, like you said, I will mind my business. I'll just be over here, mending these cloths, if you need my help, or want to talk about...you know." Then she fell silent.

After several minutes of April grunting and just being angry with herself, she finally looked up at Karen, "fine! I need your help!"

Karen raised her head, a smile playing on her lips, "Help? What could I possibly help you with, mi'lady?"

"Could you please leave us for a few minutes?" April said to the few maids in the room. They bowed and shuffled out, closing the door behind them.
"So what can I help you with?"

April hesitated before speaking, "how do you learn to love someone?"

"You don't. It comes naturally."

"Well, how do you know if you love him?"

"How do you feel whenever you are around Ian?" Karen asked, and April answered honestly.

"Happy, safe, content, peaceful. There's this indescribable joy I feel whenever I see him. That's when he hasn't done something stupid."

"And how do you feel whenever he does something stupid?"

"Hurt, sad, annoyed with myself for letting it get to me."

"That's how you know you love him" Karen said.

"Haha, I do not love him. Yet."

"You are in denial. The sooner you accept the fact that you actually love Ian, the better," she said and went back to her mending.

I do not love him. I do not love him. She chanted this to herself as she missed three lines, loosened it, continued, missed another two lines and had to loosen it again.

Her question now was, if I do love him, does he love me too?